PrayerGifts

I've Moved! Bye Bye Blogger!

2011-12-19T19:46:00.000-07:00

My 500th post on Blogger is my goodbye post.

I've made the move over to Wordpress.

I'll miss this cute little pink place, but it's time for me to move on.

Please come see me over at http://prayergifts.net/

What's coming for Prayer Gifts in 2012?

Lots more prayer gifts and other encouraging posts and...a Prayer Gifts app! Stay tuned on that!

This post will stay up for a bit, but all of these posts can now be found over at my new site: Prayergifts.net

Much love,

Sermon Note Sundays: Every Obedience Matters

2011-12-18T22:32:00.001-07:00

Oh, how I love it when the Holy Spirit changes Pastor Gary's sermon at the last minute. My pastor studies and prepares all week long. In fact, he sends out an email most every day sharing what the Lord taught him during his daily Bible study time. He doesn't just preach it; he lives it!

On Saturday evenings, Pastor Gary rarely makes social plans. That is his time to meditate on his sermon topic and listen to the Lord for any last-minute instructions.

Last night, as he prayed over his sermon notes, he felt an uneasiness settle over him. "Lord, I feel unsettled. What would you have me do?"

"Read back over the narratives of Christ's birth. I'll show you what to do."

So he did. And the Lord gave him a sermon I'm still thinking about.

Have you ever thought about how different the Christmas story would be if any of its characters refused to obey the Spirit's instructions?

Fact is, they all obeyed immediately with very little explanation required. They heard from the Lord and acted. Period.

I. Mary (See Luke 1:28-38 for the whole story)

Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her. (Luke 1:38 NLT)

After seeing an angelic being and hearing unbelievable things, her response was a beautiful, "Yes, Lord."

I am the Lord's servant. Mary declared her allegiance to the only One who counted. Her God. Serving Him in the manner He desired was her purpose.

I think of all the times I've received instructions from the Lord. I'm no Mary.

I'm self-serving. But Lord, what You're asking is a lot of work. It's scary. It's risky. It's difficult.

I'm a people pleaser. But Lord, what will people think? I could be rejected or embarrassed. So-and-so thinks it's a bad idea.

May everything you have said about me come true.

Mary didn't understand how it would all go down. She just knew God wanted it, and that was enough. Did the details make sense? Of course not! Do you really think a young teen understood what all would happen to her body, to her reputation, and to her life? Do you think she fully grasped that she would carry God in her womb and hold the Prince of Peace in her arms?

I don't know about you, but I like to know what's going on all the time. I don't like surprises. I don't like wondering. I don't like waiting. It's hard for me to walk in faith unless what God is asking makes sense to me.

Well, who gives a flip if God's ways make sense to us? As long as they make sense to Him, that's all that matters.

How silly (and sinful) of us to think we can understand God's ways.

No, Mary didn't "get it." And she certainly couldn't make any of it happen. She just stepped aside and allowed God to do His thing...and oh what a thing it was!

II. Joseph (See Matthew 1:18-25 for the whole story)

Joseph was a godly man, an honorable man, and a man who wanted to do the right thing.

One day, he is set to marry his young bride, and the next day, she tells him that she's pregnant with God's son.

You can't blame the guy for needing some time to think. It's not like anything like that had happened before.

When he laid down his weary head, he had plans to break their engagement quietly, but when he let his own wisdom rest, the Lord was able to tell him the real plan, the eternal plan, the redemption plan.

The moment he awoke, he obeyed. No more need to think it over and weigh his options. He knew God's path was the right path for him no matter how much he didn't understand it.

Later, an angel appeared to Joseph again. This time, he told Joseph to get up and flee to Egypt in order to save Jesus from the paranoid violence of King Herod. (Matthew 2:13-15)

Once again, Joseph obeyed right away, and Herod's plan was foiled. Joseph didn't pause to consider the length of the journey or the inconvenience of uprooting his family for who knows how long. He didn't ask God for some extra time to get his affairs in order. He heard the instructions and obeyed. Period.

What would this world be like if all of God's people obeyed like Joseph did? Wow...the thought astounds me.

III. Shepherds (See Luke 8:8-20 for the whole story)

Minding their sheep in the dark of night, the shepherds weren't expecting any excitement other than a renegade sheep eater. But they got the surprise of their lives! Angels had news worth risking their flocks over.

When the shepherds heard the news of the Messiah's birth, they were spurred to action. They couldn't wait to lay eyes on him! "Let's go to Bethlehem! Let's see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about." (v.15)

Once they saw what God had done, they told everyone they saw. They couldn't keep it to themselves.

God's people need to get pumped up! God is at work all around us, yet we get more excited over our favorite sports team's winning streak than we do over lives being changed and God being glorified.

When we step out in obedience, He often shows Himself to us in a fresh, new way.

On Saturday, many of our church body visited various nursing homes to bring Christmas cheer to shut-ins. Sonia and Randy brought their adorable preschool-aged grandson, Wyatt, to join in the festivities. Wyatt has personality-plus.

Wyatt and his crew ventured into Zita Denning's

But something miraculous happened between Zita and little Wyatt. His joy jingled straight into Zita's heart. A bright smile overtook her face, and her hands reached out to touch her little caroler. She sang along and held Wyatt close.

Because Sonia and Randy obeyed the Lord and involved their grandson in an act of loving service, the whole group present in that room witnessed God in a fresh, beautiful way. They went to be a blessing to Zita, but everyone in the room received the blessing of seeing what God can do through the innocence of a child.

IV. Simeon (See Luke 2:25-35 for the whole story)

Simeon received a promise from the Lord. He would not die until he had seen the Messiah.

One day, the Spirit urged him to go to the Temple. It's a good thing he obeyed without delay. If he hadn't, he would have missed the glorious opportunity to hold the Messiah in his arms!

Can you imagine the range of emotion that passed through that dear old man's heart as he stared at that baby boy?

His life was truly complete as he held the Prince of Peace in his arms.

We have that same Savior, but we hold Him in our hearts, not in our arms.

Like Simeon, we can live (and die) in peace because of Christ!

Peace with God. Peace within. Peace with others.

Lord,

Forgive us for being slow or even unwilling to obey. Every instruction You give us is eternally important. You don't give instructions that don't matter. Help us to quit stalling and start saying "Yes" to Your voice and Your will.

In the name of the One who obeyed to the death so we might live,

AMEN

Five Minute Friday: Connected

2011-12-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

I'm a day late, but, for once, not a dollar short. I just made some smokin' deals at the grocery store!

As I write this post, I'm nestled in my hubby's cushy anti-gravity lawn chair out in the garage. He's power carving some gorgeous crosses out of exotic woods, and I'm writing and playing Words with Friends with some of my fellow wordsmiths.

It's so sweet to be home after spending three nights in the hospital with my mom. By the time the doctor came by to discharge her this morning, we had all our stuff packed and Mom dressed in clothes that actually cover her all the way around.

I got her home around 10:30 a.m., and I was home in my comfy bed by noon. With no IV's beeping and no nurses lurking, I slept like a corpse for close to five hours. It was heaven. Heaven I tell you!

When I woke up, I took a leisurely shower in my own bathroom and then took my baby boy shopping for a new pair of shoes. My baby now wears a size 11, so I guess he's not really a baby any more.

And now...now I am probably as content as I've ever been relaxing here in the garage with my sweetie. He keeps showing me different woods so I can marvel at the grain.

You know, I think every piece of wood is beautiful because God made it. He truly is the ultimate artist...the ultimate craftsman. He is amazing.

Alright...enough reflecting on my present circumstances...let's get to the "Five Minute Friday" prompt. When I saw the key word, I burst out laughing. You'll see why.

Remember...on Five Minute Friday, you write for five minutes without worrying about making it fancy. Just let your mind and heart go free for five minutes.

Be sure to link up your post on The Gypsy Mama's site so others can read what you wrote. AND...be sure to take a peek at the posts of others....especially the one who posted right before you did. Leave comments! Blogger love that!

Ok...here's my post on this week's word: CONNECTED. Ready, set, GO!

In a sterile hospital room, my mom lies connected to a temperamental, beeping IV machine. With her IV inserted at the crook of her arm, every time she bends her arm, the IV machine freaks out: "Malfunction! Malfunction! The patient isn't getting the fluids that are making her have to go to the bathroom every half hour!"

The beeping IV machine is becoming the bane of our existence. Second runner up are the nurses and nursing assistants who lurk constantly. Poking, prodding, asking the same questions again and again.

Oh, for my mother to be set free from such a disturbing connection!

But as we endure the irritation of the medical inconveniences, I marvel at the "real" connections taking place.

My momma and me laughing about broth, jello, and beating the IV machine with a bat.

My mom's sweet little 93-year-old roommate telling me she loves me because I took the time to ask people to pray for her.

Connections that would not have happened had we not been stuck to that blasted beeping IV machine.

Sometimes, tough stuff is worth it.

Love the Ones You're With

2011-12-15T22:19:00.002-07:00

Nurse Keith just saved me from insanity. He got my computer to connect with the hospital wi fi.

Yesterday morning, my mom went to the urgent care with what she thought was terrible indigestion. Her EKG came back abnormal, so the urgent care sent her by ambulance to the emergency room.

After lots of tests and waiting, it appears to be gall stones. I'm thrilled it isn't her heart! Thank you, Lord!

Soooo...we're sitting in the hospital waiting to see what the doctors decide to do.

The surgeon won't take Mom's gall bladder out for at least a week because Mom has to get the blood thinner out of her system.

The internal medicine doctor won't discharge Mom until she is pain-free and has a normal white blood cell count. She has been pain-free all day. She reallllly wants to go home.

But we're here for at least another night. Waiting for the doctors to get their ducks in a row. Waiting for test results to smile at us. Waiting for Mom to get to eat something besides broth and off-brand Jello.

Across the curtain room divider lies a beautiful soul. Four feet eight inches tall and 87 pounds, Antonia is celebrating her 93rd birthday today...in the hospital hooked up to a PIC line and a tube that's draining nasty brown stuff from her innards.

Her children have been doting on her all day, and the medical staff came in with a song and flowers.

This morning, before her children arrived, I held her hand a while, and we talked about Jesus. Turns out, Jesus is Antonia's best friend too.

"I'm so sorry you have to be here on your birthday, Antonia, but aren't you glad Jesus can always find us?"

With a rich Russian accent, Antonia agreed. "Oh, yes, Lee. He sees. He knows." A mixture of joy and sadness dripped from her weary eyes down her pale, wrinkled face.

Later, I learned that Antonia was born in Siberia, spent several years in China, and came to American able to speak five languages. It has been a privilege to love on her these last couple days.

I hear the Spirit whispering to my heart, "Love the ones you're with, LeeBird."

For the past year, I've been pining over a friendship that is not meant to be. So many moments I've wasted scheming ways to get her to accept me and give me the time of day. I'm all done with that. I still care about her and wish her nothing but joy and wholeness. But I have finally come to accept that we are not friends and may never be. And that's ok.

It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her or with me.

Right this minute, I have people right here on either side of me who are open to my loving care. One a stranger and one my momma.

Reminds me of life.

Today, I choose to start spending my irreplacable moments following the Spirit's lead in how to love those He places in my path. Some close enough to touch and some I may never get to hug.

I choose to focus on what is and not what I wish could be.

Family, friends, and faraway folks are ready to receive the love Christ placed in me. And I'm ready to give it.

Lord, keep my heart focused and thankful for the ones You've given me to love. Show me how to love the way You love...how to love the ones I'm with.

PrayerGift Tuesdays: S.T.R.E.S.S.

2011-12-13T00:00:00.001-07:00

My junior high teacher hat is barely perched on my spinning head.

Between science fair projects and final exams, my cherubs with special needs are especially "special needy" right now.

Then I come home to three sons and a husband who kind of appreciate my attention and assistance.

Laundry to do. Meals to prepare. Blog posts to write. Ministry to extend. Renegade shihtzus to chase.

Sometimes, life flat out stresses me out.

Notice, I didn't even include the holiday stress. I guess we should go ahead and throw that in too.

If life is getting the best of you, and you feel an overwhelming compulsion to go on strike, this prayergift is for you.

Lord,

How does life get so wacky? Sometimes, I think You need to add a few hours to our day to help us fit everything in. Your girls have a lot to contend with, Lord. We need some help handling the stress.

Settle on our souls

Settle on my soul sweet Jesus

Settle down on me

Settle on my soul sweet Jesus

Settle down on me

Lord, help us to slow down and let Your presence soothe our frazzled nerves. Like a country quilt fresh out of the dryer, wrap us tight so we can bury our faces into your warmth. Be so close to us that we can hear You whisper, "Come to me, weary one, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

Turn our eyes upon Jesus

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

in the light of His glory and grace.

Lord, I feel like our eyes are crossed from trying to keep an eye on all our blessings. Home, family, work, and ministry. So much to see to, Lord. So, so much. Take our faces in Your strong hands and hold us still until our eyes lock with Yours. May we become so entranced by Your gaze that our burdens fall away into the periphery.

Restore to us

Restore to me

The joy of your salvation

Restore to me

The wonders of your love

Lord, we get so frazzled that we misplace our joy. Restore unto us the joy that comes from being Yours. Restore the sense of wonder and awe over Your words and Your ways. May we come to You as a little child climbing up on Your lap for some snuggling. There's nowhere sweeter than lap, sweet Abba.

Emmanuel

To You our hearts are open

To You our hands we raise

Come take this place

of honor in our lives.

Emmanuel

Our God is with us

Prince of peace

Mighty One

Everlasting God

Oh, Lord, keep us keenly aware of Your constant presence. Your constant guiding hand and voice saying, "This is the way. Walk in it." (Isaiah 30:21) May we make ourselves at home in Your Kingdom where You are the Prince of Peace living to touch the lives of those who who've forgotten what peace feels like.

Stir up a hunger

Stir up a hunger

Stir up a hunger in my heart

Nothing can satisfy me

Nothing else will do

Stir up a hunger

A hunger in my heart

Stir up a hunger in my heart

for more of You.

Make us Mary's, Lord. Willing to lay the to-do list aside to spend time at Your feet. (Luke 10:38-42) Willing to make You our top priority even when society tries to rework the items on our list. (Proverbs 19:21) Willing to be still and know You're God. (Psalm 46:10)

Shine on us

Lord, let Your light

light of Your face

shine on us

Lord, let Your grace

grace from Your hand

come over us

Lord, let Your love

love with no end

fall on us

Lord speak blessings over Your people. Bless us and keep us. Make Your face to shine upon us and be gracious to us. Lift up Your countenance upon us and give us strength. (Numbers 6:24-26)

We can't do this life without You, Lord. Keep us focused on You, so our S.T.R.E.S.S. is kept in check.

In the faithful name of Jesus,

Sermon Note Sundays: Flow

2011-12-11T23:58:00.000-07:00

Today's service at the Heart of Mesa was beautiful from start to finish. I love all Sundays, but the memory of this one will linger in my heart.

I love it when we start off a service with a baptism...especially when the person being baptized is full-grown.

About a year ago, Ryan came to our Celebrate Recovery program a broken man and an atheist. Through the loving acceptance of Believers at Celebrate Recovery and miraculous expressions of love from God, Ryan became convinced that God not only exists but also lives to have relationship with us.

We all held our breath until Ken got Ryan up out of the water. Kind of a size difference. :)

The music helped our worship rise like rich incense to the heart of God. I love how my sweetie connected "Forever" and "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee." When the Christ Child uttered His first cry, it was a divine announcement of God's forever faithfulness.

During the family prayer time, Pastor Gary asked us to join hands and spend time in prayer for our upcoming Christmas outreach event for shut-ins connected with our church.

I left the platform and took the hand of Cheryl, our youth minister's wife. Shortly before the end of the prayer time, she had to head up to the platform to sing the special music. She took my hand and placed it into a teen-aged girl's hand to keep our prayer circle connected.

The moment my hand joined hers, I heard God speak. I swear, it was almost audible. Love this girl. Invest in this girl. Support this girl.

After hearing from the Lord so clearly during the prayer time, I almost laughed when Pastor Gary started his sermon on using our God-given giftings to demonstrate His love and build up the Body of Christ.

He took us to 1 Peter 4:7-11:

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

As Believers, we are given spiritual gifts God intends for us to use to build up the Body of Christ. We are the Body of Christ, so lovingly using our gifts to build up the Body is the epitome of "love your neighbor as yourself."

When we refuse to use our Holy Spirit-given gifts, we are essentially saying, "I don't love the Body of Christ."

It's all about His love flowing through us.

Above all, love fervently.

The word "fervently" is the same word used to describe a galloping horse or a runner pushing to reach the finish line.

No half-hearted, haphazard love is gonna cut it. God's love is a free-flowing current, not a dried up stream or stagnant puddle.

God's love makes the first move and holds nothing back.

A love that covers a multitude of sins.

God's love flowing through His people is an outstretched love veiling the shortcomings of others.

It's not about another's worthiness. It's about His worthiness.

It's about His sparing love that says, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing."

We've all received that sparing love, and the same variety is in us to extend to others through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Grumble-free hospitality.

To be hospitable is to welcome strangers...even when are really are sorta strange.

To pull them into the fold causing them to feel as if they have found "home."

Relishing in the opportunity to love, we embrace the differences and even the irritations that come with loving people not like us.

Rather than let others irritate us to the point of grumbles, eye rolling, and loud sighs, let's think about irritations from the point of view of the oyster.

Pearls are the result of irritation you know. Just think what would happen to this world if we allowed our irritations to refine us instead of repulse us? Mother of pearl! It would be a beautiful thing!

Using our spiritual gifts by the power of the Spirit.

God desires for us to meet people where they are and love them in our own unique way.

When we allow the Spirit to empower our gifts, there's nothing our loving service can't do!

When we minister to others, we are like table waiters anticipating their needs.

All Believers are stewards of our God-given gifts. The question is...are you are good steward or a bad one? Do you wake up each morning ready to love, to serve, and to allow God's power to course through your words and actions?

Our gifts are not our own. God entrusted them to us, and He expects us to use them wisely, liberally, and in His power.

When we use our giftings in our own strength, we will be like a firework that starts off strong and then fizzles before the big kaboom.

But when we use our giftings in the power of the Holy Spirit living in us, we light up the lives of those we encounter in an awe-inspiring way.

Know your gifts and get busy using them!

If you don't know your gifts, you can know them in no time! Just start serving and prayerfully watch how God uses you. Pay attention to the service that makes you feel the most alive. Ask your church family for insight. They may see your giftings at work even when you don't.

Lord,

Empower us to be the best possible stewards of the gifts You've given us. Give us hearts that relish in the opportunity to be a free-flowing river of Your love...your fervent, outstretched, hospitable love. As we live our lives, may our words and actions quote Your heart and build up the Body of Christ.

In the loving name of Jesus, I pray, AMEN

Five Minute Friday: What Color is Joy?

2011-12-09T00:16:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I participated in The Gypsy Mama's Five Minute Friday series, but, hey...why not today?

The rules are simple: set your timer and write about the key word for five minutes flat. Link your post to The Gypsy Mama's post, and be sure to check out some of the other linked posts and leave lovey dovey comments.

Pretty easy, huh?

The week, the word is....COLOR.

Ready...set....GO!

Choose joy. Choose joy.

Every where I look, I'm reminded that joy is a choice.

Truth is, joy is a gift ready and waiting to be unwrapped, enjoyed, and cherished.

A gift paid for with crimson currency. A gift free to me because it cost Christ everything.

I don't choose joy every day. Some days, the charcoal gray cloud of self-focus drowns out every hue.

But when I choose joy. When I choose to let the Son beam, golden, through my cloud, my perspective transforms and colors burst from everything.

From my three sons' ceaseless chatter, all anticipating new adventures.

From my husband's clicking fingers, loving my new website into existence.

From my own restless, wrestling heart, on the threshold of a new year of opportunities.

I will choose to color my days with joy...joy bought and paid for...joy with my name engraved in red.

What color is your joy?

*Confession...this post took more than five minutes but less than eight.

Mismatched Shoes

2011-12-07T00:00:00.002-07:00

What I wore to work today.

In my mad rush to get out the door this morning, I wore mismatched shoes. I clomped around all over my junior high campus for close to two hours before I even noticed.

Same color. Same style. Same fit. But as I stalked through the courtyard from one classroom to another, I noticed one foot clipped and the other one clopped.

I stopped mid-clop and stared down at my feet...right as my assistant principal walked by. We shared a laugh over my shoe dilemma...we've known each other for seven years...he knows I'm a little off.

Mismatched shoes. Perfect picture of my life these days.

At first glance, everything looks just fine.

I'm spending time in the Word and in prayer most every day.

I'm eating right and walking myself several times a week.

I'm loving on my fellas and keeping all their underwear washed.

I'm teaching my special junior high cherubs whether they want to be taught or not.

But something's not quite right.

My mind, heart, and spirit are restless.

Wafting back and forth between anticipation and anxiety. Peace and paranoia. Contentment and questions. Clip. Clop. Clip. Clop.

My weary feet are now bare with chipped blue polish leftover from an August pedicure.

But they match. I think God likes it when we get bare before Him. When we kick off our roles and goals and just pitter patter around in His presence.

It feels good to rest my feet and my blistered spirit.

Lord, I'm tired. Worn out. Burned out on lots of things. My feet won't budge another step, but I'm crawling...crawling to Your feet. I want my life back! I want to know what true rest is. I want to be Your constant companion and apprentice. Teach me the "unforced rhythms of grace." I'm loaded down with weighty burdens of my own making. Clip. Clop. Drop. I'm laying it all down in exchange for real life...light and free. (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)

PrayerGift Tuesdays: I Can't

2011-12-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

My sweetie has this little thing he says when he's being silly. When I ask him to do something simple...you know like give me a kiss or take out the garbage...he's get this little boy look on his face and says, "I can't...I dunno how."

Truth is, my man is probably the most capable fella I know. I guess that's what makes his little "I can't" declaration so cute to me.

Here lately, I've been doing some inner whining that is anything but cute. To be honest, it makes me want to hurl. I am so stinkin' tired of struggling with the same issues again and again. I have short spurts that seem like wholeness, but before long, I slip back to my old, destructive thought patterns and behaviors.

I need a renewed, reborn, remade mind.

But I can't do it. I don't know how. I don't have the skills or the strength.

My friend Lisa Whittle says my "I can't" sets me right where I need to be.

"I can't": simple words that acknowledge God is all, better, enough, everything, and more than what my humanness can offer.

I'm weary of my humanness. My humanness is a pit magnet. My humanness is selfish and a slave to my impulses. My humanness almost always falls short.

I can't. But I know who can. I think I'll talk to Him about it.

Lord,

I fell again. Headlong into that same ol' sickening pit I know so well. Oh, Lord, I'm so tired of this. So, so tired.

No matter how hard I try to do right, I just can't. I so understand Paul's lament in Romans 7.

Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
I am weak, but You are strong.
"Nothing and no one is holy like [You,] God, no rock mountain like [my] God. The weapons of the strong are smashed to pieces, while the weak are infused with fresh strength." (1 Samuel 2:2 MSG)

I am weak, but You are strong.
I hear you whispering to my heart, "My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:7 MSG)

"Now that [I] know what [I] have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—[I will]not let it slip through [my] fingers. [I] don't have a priest who is out of touch with [my] reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. [Right now, I] walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. [I] take the mercy, [I] accept the help." (Hebrews 4:13-15 MSG)

"I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: [Your]loyal love couldn't have run out, [Your] merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with [You] (I say it over and over). [You're] all I've got left. (Lamentations 3:19-24 MSG)
I am hopeless, but You are my hope.

"Blessed is the woman who sticks with God. [She's]like trees replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers—Never a worry through the hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf. Serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season.
[My] heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But [You]God, search [my] heart and examine [my] mind. Get to [my]heart, [Lord]. Get to the root of things." Deal with me as I really am, not as I pretend to be. (Jeremiah 17:7-10 MSG)

I feel worthless, Lord, but You see my worth as You say, "And now, here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to start all over again. I'm taking [you] back out into the wilderness where we had our first date, and I'll court [you]. I'll give [you] bouquets of roses. I'll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope. [You'll] respond like [you] did as a young girl, those days when [you were] fresh out of Egypt." (Hosea 2:14 MSG)

I am wrecked, Lord, but, at this moment, I choose to fling myself on You. "[Please] comfort [me]and look with compassion on all [my] ruins; make [my] deserts like Eden, [my]wastelands like the garden of the LORD. [May]joy and gladness be found in [me once again], thanksgiving and the sound of singing." (Isaiah 51:2-4 NIV)

I am in ruins, but You are my renovator.
Proclaim good news to my doom. Bind up my unwound heart. Proclaim my soul freedom from bondage. Shed light on my darkness. Cool my mourning singed with regret. Dust off the ashes and crown me with beauty. Shine me up with the oil of gladness. Replace my mourners clothes with a garment of praise. Transform me from a bonfire twig to an oak of righteousness that represents You well. Renovate my ruins and make me better than new. (Isaiah 61:1-4 NIV)
I am in ruins, but You are my renovator.

If I turn from my "me" focus and quit the comparison game, my life "will begin to glow in the darkness, [my shadowed [life] will be bathed in sunlight. [You] will always show [me] where to go. [You'll] give me a full life in the emptiest of places--firm muscles, strong bones. [I'll] be like a well-watered garden, a gurgling spring that never runs dry. [You'll] use the old rubble of [my past] to rebuild [my foundation] You'll be known as [One] who can fix anything, restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, make the community livable again." (Isaiah 58:9-12 MSG)
I can't, Lord. I can't break free, and I surely can't stay free. But You...You are the strength for my weakness.. You are the hope for my despair. You are the renovator ready to make me new and whole.

Make me willing, Lord. Willing to let You have Your way in me.

In the faithful name of Christ I pray, AMEN

I am in ruins, but You are my renovator. I am hopeless, but You are my hope. I am hopeless, but You are my hope. I am weak, but You are strong.

Sermon Note Sundays: SHOW and GROW

2011-12-04T23:30:00.000-07:00

Post-turkey coma fatigue got in the way of my sermon note Sunday post for last week, so this week, I'm going to give you two for the price of one.

Pastor Gary is preaching a series about what our church, the Heart of Mesa, is all about.

Two weeks ago, he spurred us on to GO and tell everyone we can about the saving sacrifice of Jesus Christ. You can read about it here.

Last week, he focused on how to SHOW the love of Christ.

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,”and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8-10 NIV

Love one another.

"Another" means someone different from us. If we only love the people who are like us, the church will collapse (and be boring as heck).

Love your neighbor.

The Lord commands us to actively look for ways to show love to those around us. Selfless, unconditional, divine love.

That kind of love only happens when we choose to let God love through us. Our limited version of love won't cut it. We can't muster the will to love the way He loves. It's all about a surrendered heart. "...for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." (Philippians 2:13 NIV)

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:27-31 NIV

Are we listening? He wants us to love our enemies!

We are expected to love people who feel hostile toward us. No matter now much they reject us, disrespect us, or rub us the wrong way, our response is to be love. The same kind of love we'd give to someone who loves us back.

We are to bless them even when they curse us.

We are to pray for them even when they seek to tear us down.

We are to look for ways to show kindness even when they are hateful.

You may be thinking the same thing I'm thinking, I can't do that!

Exactly. We can't do it. But God can do it through us if we let Him clear out the bitterness, anger, and penchant for pay-back. There's no room for His perfect love when our hearts have any of that ugly sludge in it.

Take a look at how The Message translates Luke 6:27-28:

To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that's charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.

I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.

Jesus lived this out. He lived the SHOW.

Now, on to the GROW.

If we want to have it in us to GO and SHOW, we must be about the business of GROWING in our relationships with Christ and each other.

The family of God is at her best when her people are meeting together to dig in to the Word of God.

Weekly church worship services are important and necessary for God's people, but they're not enough.

Worship services don't provide the opportunity for people to dialogue about life and faith and God's Word.

In Acts 17 Paul sat down and conversed with the Thessalonians and the Bereans. Questions were asked and answers were discovered and many men and women were persuaded to turn to Christ.

In Berea, the people took the Word of God seriously. They interrogated the Word, scrutinized the Word, and made the informed decision to turn to the Lord.

An hour-long worship service is not enough. To develop a deep, vibrant faith, Believers must be involved in some type of small-group Bible study.

Sunday school classes, Sunday evening or week day small groups, an online Bible study with a forum for discussion. The options are there...let's choose one!

May we be like the Bereans and "[receive] the message with great eagerness and [examine] the Scriptures every day to see if what [our teachers say is true]." (Acts 17:11 NIV)

Jesus lived out the GROW. He spoke to the masses, but he also spent valuable and powerful time ministering to individuals and small groups.

On the road to Emmaus, Jesus "explained to [two seekers] what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself." They were taken in by His wisdom and the truth He shared...so much that they begged Him to stay with them longer. They couldn't get enough! When Jesus revealed Himself to them, they exclaimed, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:27-32 NIV)

Meeting regularly with a small group of Believers will transform our faith!

Lord,

All for You, we GO and tell the world about You, the way, the truth, and the life.

All for You, we SHOW Your love by letting You love through us. Not just people just like us and not just for people who like us.

All for You, we GROW in the faith by joining with others to study the Word and make it part of who we are.

Tune in next week when we learn to "go with the FLOW."

Weightloss Wednesdays: Angry Bird

2011-11-30T23:19:00.000-07:00

First, let me just say...Operation LeeBird (#OLB) is soaring along at a steady clip. I'm using My Fitness Pal to log my food and water intake and my exercise.

I'm up to walking three miles five days per week, and this week, I'm adding some resistance exercises: squats, crunches, and girly push-ups. I'll add more as I go along I'm sure. Baby steps are my friend.

Thanksgiving weekend was a little turbulent. I indulged a little too much on pumpkin and buttermilk pie, but the pie is gone and I'm back on track.

I got on the scale this morning, and my "nekkid as a jaybird" morning weight was 242.5. In a couple weeks, I'll redo my measurements to see if I have any shrinkage.

I feel more energetic and in control of my eating.

For those reasons, I bellow a big, fat "YAY!"

Overall, though, I'm one angry LeeBird.

Angry that I let myself get like this to begin with.

Angry that my children have inherited my poor habits.

Angry that my back hurts 90% of the time because it's under so much strain.

Angry that the plus department really isn't a positive place to be.

And those are just the weight loss-related issues...I'll spare you the other crud that has my feathers ruffled.

I am suffering the natural consequences of my own willful behavior. Yes, I am ticked off at myself.

But I apologized to my stretch-marked skin, flabby muscles, and creaky joints. I said sorry to my fiber-deprived intestines, refined-sugar addicted taste buds, and stretched-out stomach. They forgave me, and they're basking in the glow of shiny new habits forming.

Every day I choose health and wellness, I get a little less angry. A little less frustrated. A little less perturbed.

Every day I walk around the perimeter of my community, I do it with a little more pep in my step and a little less moaning and creaking.

Every day I say "no thanks" to an extra helping, my sons notice.

Yes, I'm an angry bird, but my anger is propelling me to lasting change, so I guess I'll keep it.

Lord, thank you for the progress I'm making and for the strength you're giving me to make it. I can't do this without you. Keep me mad enough to never go back to my old ways. All things new, Lord. All things new.

PrayerGift Tuesdays: A Prayer for Widows

2011-11-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

With the holiday season officially up and running, it's so easy to become obsessed with the carrying out of our own family traditions that we forget what's going on around us.

In my own small sphere of influence, I know and love several women who are experiencing their first holiday season as widows.

I don't understand, but I care so much, and I've found that when I ask Him to, the Lord gives me a glimpse inside the hearts of the hurting.

I love that about Him.

To my sisters who are fighting for their joy this holiday season, this prayergift is for you. I love you.

Lord,

When you formed Adam from Eden's dust, You knew he'd need a partner, a helper, a lover, and a friend. Adam and Eve were one unit in a new existence, experiencing all their firsts together.

I wonder if Eve had to live any of her days as a widow? If she felt that stretching and ripping in her spirit as "her Adam's" body returned to the dust from whence he came and his spirit returned to Your arms.

I wonder.

While I'll never know Eve's experience, I see the struggle my sisters are enduring. How Cindy agonizes over decisions she and Mark would have made together. How Leah grapples with the peaks and valleys of emotion that catch her off guard. How Betsy struggles to continue her lifestyle of service even though she just lost her partner of 50-plus years, Dave.

Lord, Your heart is so tender toward widows. Throughout the Bible, You defend them and command us to care for them with Your heart. You are their Husband, ever with their best interests on Your heart. You even say, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." (Matthew 5:4 NIV)

You are everything, Lord! Everything my sisters need. Today, I pray for my grieving sisters to hear Your every whisper, to feel Your embrace, and to be convinced of Your eternal presence.

May they hear Your every whisper.

Loud and throbbing, grief assaults my sisters' senses. Questions shake the rafters of their minds. Fear of the future edges its way past untested faith.

My sisters need to hear You, Lord. I know You're speaking already, but sometimes Your still, small voice gets lost in the chaos.

I pray that Your voice of truth will rise to the top like cream: rich and pure.

May "the sound of [Your] coming [be] like the roar of rushing waters, and [may]the whole landscape [of their lives shine] with [Your] glory." (Ezekiel 43:2 NLT)

Heighten their senses to hear you declare, "I am here to bind up your broken heart, to proclaim your freedom from the captivity of despair, and to release you from darkness. I will comfort you as you mourn and provide for you as you grieve—to bestow on you a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. You will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. I will equip you to rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated. You just think your life is ruined. I declare that everlasting joy will be yours."(Isaiah 61:1-7)

Open their ears to hear Your love song, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. I will build you up again, and...again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful. I will turn [your] mourning into gladness; I will give [you]comfort and joy instead of sorrow. I will satisfy [You, my priests,] with abundance, and [you] will be filled with my bounty.” (Jeremiah 31:3-4, 13-14)

May they feel Your embrace.

Lord, my sisters miss the tender touch of their beloveds. They miss the sacred interchange between two who have been joined together as one.
"But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. [They]commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless [and the defender of widows]. [You set the lonely in families [and lead]out the prisoners with singing." (Psalm 10:14; 68:4-6 NIV)

"Make your saving help [be their] shield, and your right hand [sustain them]; your help has made [them] great. You provide a broad path for [their] feet, so that [their] ankles do not give way." (Psalm 18:35-36 NIV) I pray, Lord, that my sisters will feel Your hand on the small of their backs guiding them through the difficult days. Your arm around their shoulders squeezing loving assurances just when they need them.

At night, when they miss the warmth of their husband's presence, may they feel Your arms pull them close to Your chest; may they hear the soothing rhythm of Your heart beating just for them. May they snuggle in close to Your everlasting love.

May they be convinced of Your eternal presence.

Lord, You saw the poor widow who gave all she had. (Mark 12:41-44)

You provided a wellspring of oil for the widow whose debts were more than she could pay. (2 Kings 4:1-7)

You told of a persistent widow who received justice from Your hand. (Luke 18:1-8)

I ask You to convince my sisters that You will never leave them or forsake them. (Joshua 1:5)

You are "close to the brokenhearted and [You save] those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18 NIV)

You are there to hold them in the early morning hours when the pillow next to them is empty.

You are there to whisper wisdom into their minds when bills come due and when children or grandchildren need guidance.

You are there to help them make new memories and learn to laugh again.

You. are. there. Always faithful. Always available. Always with just the right answers. You are there.
May my sisters be able to pray with confidence, "When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. I will fulfill my vows to you, O God, and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help. For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light." (Psalm 56:3-4, 8, 12-13 NLT)

In the faithful, available, and perfect name of Jesus Christ I pray, AMEN

PrayerGift Tuesdays: Grateful

2011-11-22T00:00:00.002-07:00

On Thanksgiving week, it would be silly to focus on anything other than gratitude.

This girl has tons for which to be thankful. Tons.

Tonight, the Lord took me back to my first grace gift.

When I went to the grocery store tonight, I remembered everything but the poster board my Jacob needed for his book project, due tomorrow.

We took a quick trip to Walgreen's to get the poster board. God was in that oversight.

Once I drug Jake from the snack aisle, we ended up in line behind a cutie patootie teenage boy with only one item in his basket. A pregnancy test.

My heart twisted.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked the boy.

"Sure," he replied with a sheepish grin.

"What will you do if that test is positive?"

"I don't know," he confessed.

"Well, Buddy, I must tell you one thing. I'm adopted, and I will be forever grateful to my teen parents for giving me life. Choose life," I pleaded as he slipped through the sliding doors.

My prayers plead for that boy and his girl. I'm sure they're scared and worried and wondering what's in store. Meet them where they are, Lord, just as You did for my birth parents. If a baby is growing in that teen aged womb, please help them to choose life. May abortion be repulsive to them.

I'm the daughter of teen aged lovers who weren't ready to be parents. But instead of choosing abortion, they chose to let me live and grow up in the loving household of the Walker family. I think that's the perfect place to start on this Thanksgiving week prayergift.

This prayergift is all for Him: my Lord, my Savior, the Giver of life and all good gifts.

Lord,

More than four decades ago, a young couple let their passion get the best of them, and I was conceived. Although they weren't ready to raise me, they made a very adult decision. They chose to lovingly place me into the arms of a family prepared to love me, care for me, and see me to adulthood.

I don't know where my birth parents are or what they're up to, but I love them, and I'm so, so thankful for their brave choice to give me life.

Lord, You see them. You know what they're up to. I pray they would feel my love and gratitude. That they would sense the thankful tears welling up in the blue eyes I inherited from them. Even at this moment, I pray they would think of me and know that they did the right thing. Please, give them a deep sense of peace and joy over the difficult decision they made more than four decades ago.

Lord, You gave me a family! A beautiful family with strengths and flaws and triumphs and struggles.

Thank You, Lord, for my parents, Bill and Mable, who chose to adopt one more little darlin' into their country home.

For the horses in the pasture and the food in the fridge.

For the piano lessons and the Six Flags trips.

For the Cherry Kool-Aid and popcorn in paper sacks

For the pool parties and wiener roasts.

Thank You, Lord, for my big brother, Dean, who left us too soon.

For his humor and loyalty.

For the two nieces and one nephew he helped bring into this world.

For the way he called me "Squirt" and that last text he sent that said, "You should write a book."

I miss him, Lord, but I'm so thankful I had him at all.

Thank You, Lord, for my big sister, Karla, who calls me "Baby Girl."

For the way she thinks I'm a genius and the best at everything I do.

For the way she cries when I sing or when we have to say goodbye.

For the way You gave her Buddy for 30 years and then Bubba from now on.

For the way her heart quakes for her only son, Matthew and his soon-to-be-bride, Shields.

For how she pours her heart into giving her new in-laws the best possible life for their twilight years.

For the time we spend together loving on our daddy who can't remember our names.

Thank You, Lord, for my sweetie, Cliff, who pledged his love to me more than two decades ago.

For his intelligence and creativity.

For the way our boys aspire to be like him.

For the way he leads the Heart of Mesa into a time of honest worship.

For his chuckles and tender kisses.

For his "I love you long times" and garage creations.

Thank You, Lord, for my sons.

For Garrett's longing to grow and achieve and succeed.

For Logan's easy-going ways and ready and waiting smiles.

For Jacob's quirky creativity and random humor.

I am a blessed woman. I have a family who's always there for me and friends who love me in spite of myself.

I. Am. Blessed.

On this Tuesday...the eve of Thanksgiving Eve, I say, "THANK YOU!"

Thank you for the unconditional love I've experienced. Thank you for the new mercies every morning.

Thank you, Lord, for a new beginning every, single day. I want to represent you well. I want you to be proud and pleased by my behavior.

I want my life to count for You. All for You.

In the name of Christ I gratefully pray, AMEN

Sermon Note Sundays: GO

2011-11-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

Last night, I strolled through Big Lots looking for just the right items to place in three Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes. Our family always packs up three to represent our three sons. It's probably my favorite holiday activity. Kicking off the Christmas season by giving to the less fortunate helps me keep my Christmas shopping under control and in proper perspective.

Imagine my glee when I found nine-inch baby dolls with soft bodies perfect for hugging! Being a boy momma, baby dolls don't land in my cart often. Colorful bead necklaces and bracelets. Care Bear band aids, soap, colorful pens, stickers, toothbrushes, and toothpaste. Oh...and candy...lots of candy.

Praying for a little girl who will receive this shoebox

This morning, the Heart of Mesa altar was stacked with boxes for boys and girls of all ages. Jana Taylor, our pastor's daughter led us in a time of dedication.

Heart of Mesa's OCC shoe boxes ready to be dedicated to God

Natalie ready to pray over a shoebox for a little girl her age

Lenora and Kelly Bradshaw love all God's children

Henry lifting a shoebox to the hands and heart of God

All over the country, boxes are being packed and delivered to Operation Christmas Child collection sites. My heart imagines three little girls who will, with shining eyes, open up the boxes our family packed. I love those little girls I will probably never meet. I want them to be safe, well-fed, and loved. Most of all, I want them to know Jesus.

Go visit the Operation Christmas Child site to see how you can help!

The dedication of our OCC boxes was a perfect precursor to Pastor Gary's sermon. It's important to him that our church body fully understands what we're all about.

What are we up to at the Heart of Mesa?

We're called to GO and tell the whole world about Jesus, to SHOW the love of Christ with everyone, to GROW together through the study and application of God's Word, and to FLOW in the Spirit using the giftings He has given us to build the Body of Christ.

Today, it was all about the GO.

"Therefore GO and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." (Matthew 28:19-20 NIV)

In this well-known verse from Matthew, I've always thought the command from Christ is to GO, but that's not the case. The correct translation from the Greek should say, "As you are going, make disciples..." Christ knows we will go. Whether we're going to a third world country or the corner store, we are commanded to make disciples. That's the command. Make disciples.

We're not called to make converts or Sunday church attendees. We're called to make disciples. Disciples are apprentices of Christ. We are called to take responsibility for new Believers...to show them how to know God better. How to pray. How to study the Word of God. How to grow in the faith. How to allow Christ be their everything.

We have enough church members who warm up pews on Sundays and leave it at that.

We are commanded to make disciples who are all about living their lives for Christ and in Christ.

"He said to them, 'GO into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.'" (Mark 16:15 NIV)

We are commanded to make disciples from all the nations. No picking and choosing. Every ethnicity. Every religious persuasion. Every culture and creed. The heart of God beats with love for ALL people, not just the ones with whom we feel cozy.

"But you will receive POWER when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my WITNESSES in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." (Acts 1:8 NIV)

We can't GO in our own strength. If we do, we'll make church members at best and enemies at worst. We must go in the power of the Holy Spirit. Every Believer has Holy Spirit power on the ready. The power to tell His truth with courage. The power to go into dangerous territory. The power to love even when it hurts.

We don't have to have all the pertinent Scriptures memorized. We're not called to be Bible quoters. We're called to be witnesses! Witnesses tell what they've experienced first-hand. By the power of the Holy Spirit, we are commanded to tell others what Jesus Christ has done for us. Don't let the evil one convince you that you don't know enough. You know what He did for you. That's enough!

Lord,

Every morning when we rise, compel us to GO, to SHARE, to LOVE, to LISTEN to Your promptings. This world needs You badly, Lord. We have no time to waste.

PrayerGift Tuesdays: Strength to Change

2011-11-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

Change. Such a cinchy word to say but a woolly booger to live.

For my entire adult life, I've been trying to change my ways.

Poor eating habits, aversion to exercise, tendency toward laziness, hyper-focus on what people think, etc., etc., etc.

I talk about it. I read books about how to do it. I make declarations of "from this day forward" or "never again." But change has eluded me...until now.

I have the knowledge and resources I need. I have supportive family and friends. And best of all, I have the Lord of all creation in my corner. It's time for me to rise up and DO IT!

If, like me, you want and need to make some changes, this prayergift is for you.

Lord,

I've been listening, Lord. Listening to Your still, small voice whispering, "It's time for a change." You've been wanting this for me for a long, long time, but I've been unwilling. I'd love to say "unable," but that would be dishonest, for anything is possible with You. (Mark 9:23)

I want to be strong in body, mind, and spirit, and I believe You want that for me, too. I have lots of changes to make. Lots of poor habits to break and healthy habits to form. I need Your strength, Lord.

Strength to say "YES" to wellness

Just like the invalid man in John 5, I hear you saying, "Do you want to get well?" (5:6) I've made excuses for too, too long, Lord. I want to be disciplined and determined. I want to be healthy and high energy. I want my thoughts, words, and actions to represent You well and demonstrate Your love. It's time for me to pick up my mat and walk toward wellness.

Every hour, I will be faced with a choice. Will I give in to cravings and excuses, or will I say "YES" to wellness? Give me the wisdom to do things Your way, the right way, the way that leads to health to my body and nourishment to my bones. (Proverbs 3:7-9)

Help me, Lord, to pay attention to the instructions You whisper into my ear.

"You've had enough, my Child."
" I know you're tired, but let's take a walk together."
"She may reject you, but you will always be My girl. I adore you.

Your Word is life to me, Lord! May I listen, trust, and obey, for it will bring life and health to my whole being.

Above all else, strengthen me to guard my heart, for everything I do flows from it. Help me to keep my mouth free of perversity...even ugly words directed at myself. Keep my eyes focused straight ahead toward the goal You've set before me. Every step matters. Every choice matters. Keep me from reverting to my old ways, Lord, please. (Proverbs 4:20-27)

Strength to push through temptation

You understand temptation, Lord. The evil one pulled out all the stops trying to get You off-track. But you resisted.

"It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" (Matthew 4:4 NIV)

“Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’” (Matthew 4:10 NIV)

I'm tired of serving my appetite for food and approval. You and You alone, Lord.

I don't want You to find me sleeping on the job. Give me the strength to "watch and pray so that [I] will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is [so, so] week." (Matthew 26:40-41 NIV)

"No test or temptation that comes [my] way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All [I] need to remember is that [You]will never let [me] down; [You'll] never let [me] be pushed past [my] limit; [You'll] always be there to help [me] come through it. (1 Corinthians 10:13 MSG)Strength to believe we can do this together

I believe this, Lord!

Lord, I want to hunger and thirst for You, not enchiladas and milkshakes.. I want to anticipate my next opportunity to bask in Your presence not the approval of people who are here today and gone tomorrow. (Psalm 42:2)

"I pray that the eyes of [my] heart may be enlightened in order that [I] may know the hope to which [You have] called [me], the riches of [Your] glorious inheritance in [Your] holy people, and [Your] incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength [You] exerted when [You] raised Christ from the dead ." (Ephesians 1:18-19 NIV)

The same power that raised Christ from the dead is in me. The same power that raised Christ from the dead IS IN ME! What a gift, Lord! What a powerful, perfect gift!

We CAN do this together, Lord! All things ARE possible for me because I believe in You. (Mark 9:23)

I close this prayer in worship, my Lord. You are beautiful, faithful, and true. Change me, shape me into a person whose first response is to obey You and keep You first.

In the always-there name of Jesus Christ I pray,

Growing Up

2011-11-11T18:25:00.000-07:00

I have come to a painful and somewhat embarrassing conclusion.

I'm a spoiled brat.

No, I don't fall out in the floor and throw fits or whine and cry when I don't get my way.

But when it comes to showing any kind of self-discipline, I am rotten to the core.

My friend, Jen, got me to thinking about this by challenging me to earn my writing time through consistent exercise. No exercise. No writing time.

I accepted her challenge.

But diet and exercise aren't the only areas of my life that I've neglected.

My house is a wreck.

A dusty, disheveled, disorganized wreck.

It is wrecked to the point that I'm not even sure where to start on the clean-up. Ever been there?

Well, it's never going to get any better if I don't start spending time on it every day.

Just as my body will respond to consistent exercise, my home will respond to a regular cleaning schedule.

I come home from work exhausted. Worn slap out. Dragging my tongue on the ground.

Most nights, I barely manage to throw some food on the stove before I trudge up the stairs to spend the evening writing and watching TV.

If my boys need my attention or help, they come in and flop down on my bed. What kind of example is that? I'm sorry, boys, for making you think it's OK to just lay around instead of taking care of responsibilities.

I am the Merrill household manager. If I managed my student caseload the way I manage my home, I'd be fired!

I'm not saying that all of the household chores are on me...no way, no how. My husband and sons need to do their part.

But the smooth running of my household is my responsibility, and I stink at it.

Writing is my passion. I could seriously sit at my computer and write all day.

But passion that takes precedence over one's purpose is an idol.

My purpose is to love God and love people.

Somehow, I don't think God feels loved when I find time to write but don't find time to spend time in His Word and in prayer.

Somehow, I don't think my husband feels loved when I have a blog post written but he doesn't have any clean underwear in his drawer or any clean forks in the kitchen.

Somehow, I don't think my sons feel loved when I yell at them about cleaning up the house and then go upstairs to write or tweet or take a nap.

Therefore, it is my intention to earn my writing time with more than just exercise.

Before I write, I will take care of business in my home. Why? Because that's what grown-ups do.

Before retiring to my bed with lap-top in hand, I will:

1. Make sure the kitchen is clean from dinner.

2. Prepare for the next day's meal.

3. Complete one weekly chore. (I'll be creating a list)

4. Supervise my sons' completion of their assigned chores. (Another list)

5. Check in with my boys about school work and with my sweetie about his day.

If I spend an hour or two doing those things, I can snuggle up under my quilt and write to my heart's content.

My family will feel supported and comfortable in our home. I will feel less stressed and guilty. I won't be mortified if someone drops by unannounced. Life will just be better for all of us.

In a few months, I'll be 42 years old. I think it's about time I grew up!

Lord, I'm sorry for putting my writing passion above pretty much everything. I know that wasn't your intention of how I'd use the gift You gave me. Please, fill me with self control and discipline to take care of the business of taking care of my body, my family, and my home before I write. It will be really hard some days, Lord. I won't be able to do it without Your divine motivation. Give me a willing heart to grow up.

Weightloss Wednesdays: Operation LeeBird

2011-11-09T00:00:00.001-07:00

Operation LeeBird landed in my in-box today.

My friend Jen has taken it upon herself to be my exercise and diet coach. When she told me she was working on "Operation LeeBird," I joked that it was more like a full-blown incident than an operation. She tried to help me before, but I wasn't ready.

Now, I'm ready. I AM READY.

I know the beginning of the holiday "stuffin" season isn't the most opportune time to start a healthy living plan, but I must. Why? Because if I wait until January, I'll just be bigger, achier, and more in bondage to food and laziness than I am now.

So what's Operation LeeBird? This is what Jen sent me today, and what I commit to starting tomorrow. I told her I'd start Monday, but I'm not gonna give myself another day off. It's time to get after it people!

PRAY IT! Pray for the desire to take care of your body and live healthy. Pray for the endurance to stay committed when it gets difficult.

BELIEVE IT! Genuinely believe you CAN and SHOULD and DESERVE TO change your body and feel strong and energetic. You don't have to be defined by any one moment, image, or picture you might have of yourself. Believe in BIG, FOREVER change!

EARN IT! On Monday-Fridays, the laptop will only be available for use after a minimum of one hour of rigorous exercise has occurred.

WANT IT! If you truly set your mind to it, your body will follow! Get committed and you WILL make the right choices!

LOG IT! Keep a COMPLETE food/calorie log DAILY. Log EVERYTHING you eat and all your exercise minutes. You will be amazed how the calories add up.

STICK TO IT! Don't quit...even when you hit plateaus, and you will. This is NOT a quick fix. You CAN change your life….if you are ready to DO THIS FOR LIFE! You will have a "bad" meal...or even a "bad" day now and then. That is OK, but don't let it be more than A bad day. It took you YEARS to get where you are….I assure you it will take MONTHS of dedication to get healthy...and then a lifetime of HEALTHY LIVING (THE WAY GOD INTENDED!) to maintain it!!

Here is where I am right now. You may want to sit down.

Weight: 247.5
Pant size: 20/22
Shirt size: 3X
Waist: 47 inches
Hips/Belly: 55 inches
Arm: 15 inches
Thigh: 28 inches

In three months, I want to see my weight drop to 225 pounds.
In six months, I want to see my weight drop to under 200 pounds.
In nine months, I want to see my weight drop to 180.
A year from now, I want to be at my goal weight range (150-160 pounds).

I have to want it more than fatty food and flopping myself down on the couch.

I have to want it more than running through a drive-thru instead of cooking up a healthy meal for my family.

I have to want it more than believing my lame excuses and worn-out rationalizations.

As I said a couple weeks ago, food is my strongest weakness. I can't do this with sheer will power because I don't have it in me. Jen was wise to make "PRAY IT" the first order of business for Operation LeeBird.

I need God to increase my "want to."

Will you pray for me? I'd be exceedingly thankful.

Lord, I can't do this without You. I know You want me strong and well in body, mind, and soul. Please help me do this thing!

PrayerGift Tuesdays: Draw Me, Lord

2011-11-08T00:00:00.002-07:00

Ahem...a couple of housekeeping items, if you please.

1. I'm happy to announce that the winner of Lisa Whittle's new book, {w}hole, in the format of her choice is.....Kelli Williams Wommack! Head on over to her blog and congratulate her! Yay Kelli! Shoot me an email at leebirdmerrill at gmail dot com and let me know if you want a copy of the paperback, a Kindle edition, or a Nook edition.

2. Anyone who comes to PrayerGifts often will notice that I'm changing my PrayerGift Mondays series to PrayerGift Tuesdays. This will enable me to give my Sermon Note Sunday and my PrayerGift posts the proper attention they deserve. I'm not sure why I haven't thought of this change before. Thick-headed I suppose!

This week's prayergift is inspired by a song I heard on the way to work this morning. My mind was littered with concerns and self-condemnation, so I turned my i-pod on shuffle in hopes that some inspiring music would lift me out of my funk.

My heart stopped its fretting when the song, "Oh, Draw Me, Lord" by Selah eased through the speakers.

So simple. So sincere. So sweet.

So what I need at this moment.

If you feel a dreariness and dryness of spirit and a distance and disconnect from your Savior, join me in lifting this prayergift to the heart of Christ, so He can whisper it into the ear of the Father.

Lord,

I need help. My mind is distracted. My heart is conflicted. My spirit is exhausted.

My heart sits curled up in a ball with hands hiding face. I can't look at You. I can't lift my arms for You to pick me up. I can't hear Your voice or feel Your heartbeat.

I know You haven't moved. It's me.

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. (Come Thou Fount of Every Blessings)

I need You to draw me into Your lap, Lord Jesus. You can fuss at me because I know I need it. But can You just hold me and rock me first? Can You tell me everything's going to be ok? That You see my concerns and have them firmly in hand?

Oh, draw me, Lord.

Draw me to repentance.

I realize Your kindness is there to lead me to repentance...to change the way I think and act. (Romans 2:4) "Grant [me] repentance leading [me] to a knowledge of the truth." (2 Timothy 2:25 NIV) I need "repentance that leads to life." (Acts 11:18 NIV) You take no pleasure in the death of anyone. You yearn for me to "repent and live!" (Ezekiel 18:32 NIV)

Your correction is painful, Lord. I don't like it one bit. But "godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret." (2 Corinthians 7:10 NIV) I desire to "produce fruit in keeping with repentance." (Matthew 3:8 NIV) I know if I repent from my sin and turn to You, I'll demonstrate my repentance by my deeds. Oh, Lord, I want to represent You well! (Acts 26:20)

I can't do it, Lord. I can't manufacture godly sorrow. All I can muster up is a smidgeon of regret, and the evil one is expert at snaking in a surplus of shame. But even when my heart condemns me, You are greater than my heart. (1 John 3:20)

Draw me to obedience.

Turn my heart to You, to walk in obedience. (1 Kings 8:58) It's the least I can do, Lord. And the most I can do. "Just this: Live in [Your] presence in holy reverence, follow the road [You set] out for [me], love [You] , serve [You, my] God, with everything [I] have in [me], obey [You]—live a good life." Deuteronomy 10:12-13 MSG)

"And this is love: that [I] walk in obedience to [Your] commands. As [I] have heard from the beginning, [Your] command is that [I] walk in love." (2 John 1:6 NIV)

Help me to "be careful to obey [You], so that it may always go well with [my children and me], because [I] will be doing what is good and right in the eyes of the LORD [my]God." (Deuteronomy 12:28)

It is "[You I] must follow, and [You I] must revere. [I must] keep [Your] commands and obey [You]; serve [You] and hold fast to [You]." (Deuteronomy 13:4)

Draw me to life.

I'm tired of the rationalizations, the rumblings in my spirit, the rebellion. I want to live!

Am I destined to continue down this darkened, dismal path?

I hear You say, "No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it. This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love [Me], listen to [My] voice, and hold fast to [Me]. For [I, the] Lord [am] your life." (Deuteronomy 30:14, 19-20)

You are the way, the truth, and the life! (John 14:6) "You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever." (Psalm 16:11 NLT)
"O Lord, I give my life to you. I trust in you, my God! Do not let me be disgraced, or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat. No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced, but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others." (Psalm 25:1-3 NLT) Keep me honest, Lord. Keep me bare before You and the truth tellers You've placed in my life.

Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, LORD, are good. (Psalm 25:4-7 NIV)

Oh, draw me, Lord, to repentance. Oh, draw me, Lord, to obedience. Oh, draw me, Lord, to life to the fullest! And I'll run hard after You.

In the faithful name of Christ I pray, AMEN

The Blessing of But

2011-11-05T00:00:00.001-07:00

What a lovely start to the weekend. Some much-needed rain and a couple hours talking shop with a fellow writer.

A former colleague and a forever friend, Tracy is one of my only local friends who understands my writer dreams. She nods in empathy when I say things like, "I wish I could just write all day," while most of my friends look at me as if I have three heads.

She gets it because she wants to write all day, too. Just like I do, she wants to slip through the elusive crack in the door of Publication Land.

Tonight, we caught up on each other's latest projects and breakthroughs. We affirmed each other's determination to keep typing away toward our goals.

Tracy's taking a writing class, and she graciously passes on nuggets of newfound writer knowledge to her buddy, LeeBird.

Tonight, we talked about how important it is to have someone in our lives who won't have a problem using the "B" word: BUT.

All writers need people who will read their work with the eyes of an editor.

As much as I crave affirmation, I know good and well that the only way I'll grow as a writer is if I have people who will tell me how to improve my writing.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love it when people are encouraged, challenged, and touched by my writing.

Just today, my buddy LeAnn declared that the short story I sent her made her cry. I love it when my writing makes an emotional connection with people. Love. It.

Well, that short story landed in my friend Tracy's inbox before it landed in LeAnn's. Tracy had good things to say, too, BUT...

She took the time to print out my short story and bleed red ink all over it. At first, the sight of all that red ink caused me to shrink back in dismay. Why? Because the dozen or so other people who read the story before Tracy gushed over it. Beautiful! Loved it! Couldn't put it down! Wow!

But Tracy circled overused words and highlighted poor verb choices. She pushed me to elaborate in some spots and simmer down in others. She passed on information she learned from her writing teachers and challenged me to apply it.

She loved my story, BUT.

The BUT made my story BETTER!

Affirmation is my love language, but I'm learning the blessing of the BUT.

The beauty of the BUT.

The benefits of the BUT.

Not only do I have my beautiful Tracy "butting" me toward excellence, the Lord gifted me with a writing critique group. We have different writing styles and varied writing goals, but we share the common bond of desiring to use our skills in ways that make a difference in the lives of our readers. And as hard as it is, we're not afraid to say, "I love your submission, BUT..."

Then, there are a couple sisters further along in their writing journeys who, for some sweet reason, choose to invest time and attention into me. Thank you, sisters. You know who you are. I vow to pass it forward, both now and later.

Writer friends, if you don't have some writers in your life who can "but"ter up your writing, ask God to give you some. I suspect He'll get right on it.

Lord,

Thank You for the beautiful "but"terflies You've brought to my life. And thank You for giving me the readiness to receive and apply their guidance.

A Review of {w}hole by Lisa Whittle

2011-11-01T00:00:00.003-07:00

Three years ago, when I was new to the blog world, I took part in my first blog-hosted book study.

Lelia Chealey hosted a study of Lisa Whittle's book, Behind Those Eyes.

I felt as if the book was written just for me. Graciously, Lisa took part in our online community. She visited our blogs and commented on our bare-hearted reflections.

From that time on, I've been blessed to call Lisa my friend. For some reason, she has chosen to take interest in the condition of my heart and soul.

Consistently, she speaks the same truth into my life. Be real! Be well! Be whole!

I've been anticipating her new book, {w}hole, for more than a year...probably two.

It was worth the wait.

A lot of truth is packed into eight chapters, friends.

Lisa is tired of seeing life hold us back from living.

The whole story--the story of wholeness, whereby Jesus fills the voids within that are left in the aftermath of life experiences. It is the wellness of our souls from His healing presence in our lives. It is exactly what we need when we are limited by the gaping holes from our journey--and yet those holes can become exactly the pathway to craving the completion God brings. Our holes may be a necessary part of the journey, but wholeness can become the new story of our life.

I want my life to point people to Jesus. I really do. I want every, single moment of my life to be currency God can spend for His pleasure.

But, like Lisa, "my desire to serve Him [is] often overtaken by the compromises and circumstances of my life."

We allow our life experiences to define us when they were meant to refine us.

In {w}hole, Lisa shares how God filled in the holes made by her religion, her roles, and her life experiences.

The Hole of Religion

Performing a religious song and dance leaves us exhausted and empty.

Somehow, we come to believe that religious performance will give us the closeness to God we crave.

We pretend to be satisfied and spiritual because we want others to believe the life we've chosen is working. We want to believe it's working. But it's not working because it's all about religion. It's all about the performance and how others perceive it.

Unfortunately, when we pretend to have it all together, we alienate others who know they don't. And we alienate ourselves from what we want the most...intimacy with Christ.

However...

When we dig into the Word just to know Him, God will fill in the holes with His truth.

When we pray for the sake of heart-to-heart communication with God, He will sing loves songs to our spirits, cheer us on, and whisper instructions.

When we serve out of sheer love for God and people, we'll go to bed at night weary in body but rejuvenated in spirit.

When we are no longer weighed down by the expectations of a misplaced faith in religion for its own sake, we are free to develop the personal communion with God we are created to enjoy.

And when we have that intimate, meaningful relationship with Christ, people will notice. And they'll wonder about it. And they'll want the presence of God for themselves.

The Hole of Roles

All of us wear a multitude of hats: daughter, wife, mother, church member, career person, friend.

It's easy to let one or more of our roles define our worth, and then, if we happen to lose that role, we lose our worth as well.

In {w}hole, Lisa shares her story about losing her role as pastor's daughter when her father went through the heart-wrenching loss of his pastorate.

Watching her father endure cruel scrutiny, stone-hearted rejection, and spirit-crushing depression turned Lisa's heart and life upside down. Nothing was as it once was. And, like most of us, Lisa longed for the familiar.

In the moments we most cling to the roles that have defined us, we fail to realize that losing what we think we are opens up the opportunity for God to show us our true created self.

Sometimes, our roles change naturally such as when a mother's first born baby boy grows up and leaves home for college. (Yes...this will be me in a few short months. Wahhhhhh)

Other times, our roles are ripped from us without our permission and with little to no warning.

A spouse dies suddenly leaving a young widow to raise children on her own.

Unemployment forces a family to move cross country leaving behind a neighborhood network, comfortable friendships and ministry roles.

A friendship is fractured and restoration isn't likely.

The roles we have in life often hold our hearts in their hands, so when the roles are taken away, our hearts are dropped and broken. We have depended on them to fulfill us, and that has created a hole.

Our roles are gifts to cherish and take seriously, but they are "simply what [we are] blessed to do while God chooses to leave [us] here on earth."

The role that truly defines who we are is "child of God." Period. "The choice to primarily identify ourselves with God is the very thing that can make our soul well. Our roles are beautiful, but they can't be our link to life."

The Hole of Experiences

We each have a story. Our personal story can be a conduit for the message of Christ to flow from one life to another--the single greatest convincer to the world that Jesus is real. But the biggest snag that message can hit is when we make our experiences (both good and bad) our story. We have to understand: our story is what happens between Jesus and us in the pages of our earthly journey.

Lisa shares her experience of a church plant that started and ended in a little over a year. The experience could have caused the Whittles to quit ministry altogether. I'm sure it caused them to doubt their spiritual hearing. I'm sure it caused them to ask God, "What the heck is this all about, Lord?"

But they refused to allow the experience to own them.

When we allow our experiences to own us, they limit us and make us feel powerless to their control. When our experiences have power, they are allowed to become our story, which produces holes. But we own our experiences; they do not own us. This understanding puts the power back in our hands to choose how much they will influence our life. It's a beautiful thing to know and one that will result in great and lasting freedom.

Again, our experiences aren't our story. The development of our relationship with Christ in the midst of them is.

Jesus is our story.

My friend Lisa knows about holes, and she knows about being whole. We all have holes, but not everyone experiences wholeness.

Wholeness comes when we are willing to do whatever it takes to allow God to make our souls well.

Are you willing?

Because I believe so strongly in the message {w}hole contains, I am going to purchase a copy to give away with my own piddly teacher's salary. The winner can choose between a hard copy of the book from Amazon or the e-book for their favorite reader.

Tyndale House gave me my copy with no strings attached. I was not required to write a positive review, but once I read the book, I just had to share about it...I know too many "hole-y" people who need to know how to find wholeness through Jesus Christ.

I can spot them because I'm one of them.

If you want to win a copy of {w}hole by Lisa Whittle, leave a comment on this post about a hole you want filled. Post additional comments letting me know of your generous sharing of the link on Twitter or FB and your chances will be increased. The winner will be announced on Tuesday, November 8th.

Be sure to subscribe to Lisa's blog where she continues to share the "whole story."

PrayerGift Mondays: Whatever is True

2011-10-31T00:00:00.002-07:00

First things first! The random.org chosen winner winner of a copy of Steve Arterburn's new book, Walking into Walls, is...Carol from Georgia!! (October 25, 2011 3:16 AM) Yay for you!

Shoot me an email with your mailing address and I'll get it out to you ASAP. (leebirdmerrill at gmail dot com)

Am I the only one who struggles with keeping my head on straight? I get all sidetracked and whoppy-jawed to the point that lies seem true. It usually happens when I let too many days go by without spending quality time with the Bible and its Author.

A quick sip of the Living Water doesn't do it for me. I need to be soaked to the skin regularly to keep truth at the forefront of my mind.

The evil one knows this. His favorite trick is to distract God's people from meeting with Him. Well, kiss my tail, Devil...I had me some time with Jesus today, and I choose truth! And just in case I let myself get distracted again, I'm going to write a prayer gift I can return to time and time again when lies try to disguise themselves as truth.

Psst...you can have this prayer gift for your truth tool box, too. I like to share.

Lord,

You are the way, the truth, and the life. (John 14:6) You promise that "if [I] hold to [Your] teaching, [I am] really [Your] disciple. Then [I] will know the truth, and the truth will set [me] free.” (John 8:32-33)

I want to know...truly know the truth. So much that it changes my spiritual DNA. "Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." (Psalm 25:5)

What is the truth?

You showed Your love by sending Christ to die for me so I can live...truly live through Him. (1 John 4:9)

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human mind has conceived all the glorious things You have prepared for me because I love You. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

"I consider that [my] present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in [me]." (Romans 8:18) When I share in Your sufferings, I can share in Your comfort. (2 Corinthians 1:5-6)

In this world, I will surely have trouble, but I can take heart because You have overcome the world! (John 16:33)

One day, You will take away all our tears. There will be no more night, no more pain, and no more death. Everything will be full of light and brand-new. (Revelation 21:4)

If I draw near to You, You will be right there to wrap me up in Your arms. (James 4:8)

"[You have] not given [me] a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:7)

With You as my Helper, I have no reason to fear anything people can do to me. (Hebrews 13:6)

"Because of Christ and [my]faith in Him, [I] can now come boldly and confidently into [Your] presence. )(Ephesians 3:12)

I must not "become weary in doing good, for at the proper time [I] will reap a harvest if [I] do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)

I can do all the things God has for me through Christ who gives me strength! (Philippians 4:13)

You cause everything to work together for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your divine purposes. (Romans 8:28)

You say to me, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-29)

If I let the Holy Spirit be in charge of me, He will produce luscious fruit in me: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

If I lack wisdom, all I have to do is ask and You will give it generously without making a fuss about why I waited so long. (James 1:5) "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." (James 3:17) Your wisdom will change my perspective and my behavior.

In Your great mercy You have given me new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. And the very, same power that raised Christ from the dead is at work in me! (1 Peter 1:3; Ephesians 1:19-20)

You have blessed me with every spiritual blessing in Christ! You chose me before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in Your sight. Out of sheer love, You predestined me to be adopted as Your baby girl through Jesus Christ. Why? Because it pleased You to extend such grace to me. I am forgiven and redeemed through the blood of Jesus Christ who died for me. I am forever included in the mystery of Your plan. No human rejection matters a hill of beans. I. am. included. by. You. At the moment I believed, I was marked with a permanent seal: the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing my place in Your palace. (Ephesians 1:3-14)

Lord, such truth is too wonderful for me to ever fully absorb, but it will be fun trying!

Thank You for all that's mine because I'm Yours.

In the trustworthy name of Jesus Christ I pray, AMEN

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)

PrayerGift Mondays: Squashed Nose (and a Giveaway!)

2011-10-24T22:57:00.001-07:00

It's 10:00 on Monday night, and I'm just now sitting down to work on my PrayerGift Monday post. Nothing like waiting 'til the last minute, right?

It seems as if I'm off-kilter on everything these days.

The laundry is backed up...as is the kitchen sink.

My to-do list at school looks like my mom's sales receipt at a Stein Mart clearance sale.

The scale is creeping upward instead of downward. Pretty soon, I'm going to hit rookie sumo wrestler status.

I have at least a dozen partially completed writing projects, but my life is in such disarray that I can't focus on anything more than a few minutes at a time.

My prayer life consists of whatever prayer tweets or prayer texts I throw out into the cyber world. Tonight was the first night in a long while that I actually had an actual conversation with my Savior about our relationship.

While I've been reading the You Version Bible on my cellphone, I haven't spent decent time flipping the pages of my leather-bound Bible in so long. Digital stuff is great, but there's something about the feel and sound of those delicate pages between my fingers.

My mind is cluttered with unhealthy thought patterns that must make God heart-sick. Worries about what people think. What-ifs about mistakes I made long ago and should have let go by now. Woes about the long road of change down which I must trudge.

I don't like to work hard. I don't like the hard questions. I don't like the long haul.

Recently, I wrote a review on Steve Arterburn's newest book, Walking into Walls. The book was a loving kick in my psychological tail. I know I have to change my perspective if I'm doing to stop walking into the walls I've slammed into time and time again my entire life. I have to be willing to do the hard work, to answer the hard questions, and to be in it for the long haul.

But I also know this. I can't do it on my own. I can't change by sheer self-will. Shoot, I can't even make myself willing to change!

So, if I want to stop having a squashed nose from slamming into the walls of shame, fear, and pride, I have to ask God to give me the willing heart and determination I need to let HIM change me.

Photo Credit

Today, I am embarking on a study of the Beatitudes by working through Kay Arthur's devotional study, Lord, Only You Can Change Me. It's time for the practical truth I gained from Walking into Walls to get hitched with the eternal truth Jesus spoke in Matthew 5-7.

To kick off this "marriage", I will be giving away a copy of Steve Arterburn's book Walking into Walls that I received from PR By the Book. To be entered into the drawing, leave a comment on this post sharing one of the walls you find yourself ramming into time and time again. An area in your life you need to change...even if your "want to" hasn't shown up yet.

If you share this link on FB or Twitter, leave additional comments letting me know...easy way to increase your odds! A randomly-selected winner will be announced on Monday, October 31 on my PrayerGift Monday post.

This week's prayergift will be short and to the point.

Lord, I'm tired of my nose being squashed into walls of shame, doubt, fear, and pride. I need to change, and only You can change me! Please give me the "want to" to say NO to me and YES to You. Give me the "will do" to obey Your commands. And give me the "Wahoo!!!!" every, single time I choose life over death, truth over lies, and Christ over self.

In the powerful name of Jesus Christ I pray,

Five Minute Fridays: Beyond

2011-10-21T00:00:00.001-07:00

Fridays are for writing...without worrying about it being all perfect and pretty and pristine. Every week, the lovely Lisa-Jo chooses to topic for Five Minute Fridays.

Five minutes of letting our heart pour out through our fingers. Hearts aren't always grammatically correct. It's the truth.

How 'bout it? Wanna give Five Minute Friday a try this week? Just head on over to The Gypsy Mama and link your post to hers. Be sure to visit some of the other participants and leave friendly comments.

Alrighty...the topic this week is....BEYOND.

Ready, set, go!

I've been feeling pretty stifled lately...frustrated by my own thoughts stuck in the mud. Obsessed over things I can't change to the point that I have no energy left to focus on things I can.

If I could only move beyond my shallow concerns and dive head-long into the deep truths that can make me well and whole.

Beyond the cares of this world.

Beyond the silly rejections of fallible people.

Beyond the what-if's that disguise themselves as sure things.

God is steadily there for me...if people choose not to be...oh, well. Too bad so sad.

HE is enough!

He IS enough!

He is ENOUGH to take me beyond myself!

My Strongest Weakness

2011-10-19T21:20:00.001-07:00

I used to have a Weightloss Wednesday post. In fact, the cute little button my friend Wendy Blackwell made for me is still over there on the right-hand margin of this blog.

And I'm the fattest I've ever been. Fatter than I was when I walked into the hospital to give birth to my first child, Garrett who turned out to be 10 pounds 7 ounces. Less than 10 pounds lighter than famed Baltimore Ravens linebacker, Ray Lewis. The same weight at 6'10" Amar'e Stoudemire of the New York Knicks.

My struggle with gluttony and emotional eating is my strongest weakness.

Just today, I ate three and 1/2 donuts for breakfast, a huge plate of deep-fried sesame chicken with all the Chinese fixins for lunch, and a big ol' bowl of spaghetti with meat sauce for supper.

And right now, at 11:29 p.m., I realllly want to go downstairs and fix myself a bowl of cereal or finish off the stale dollar store shortbread cookies sitting on my nightstand from last night.

I like to eat. I need to eat. I want to eat more than I want to be thin.

I've eaten like this my whole life. My daddy used to say that, while most people eat three meals a day, I eat one meal all day.

I'm so sick of struggling with this, but not so sick that I make steps to change.

Oh, sure, I work on it here and there. I lose 10-20 pounds and feel so strong and confident. Then I justify a few little cheats here and there, and I cheat myself back up to those hard-lost 10-20 pounds plus a couple more.

I'm ashamed at how many times I've started fresh and tried again. But that's where I am...tomorrow's a new day....a new breakfast, lunch, dinner, and late night snack.

Lord, I'm sorry I'm such a screw-up when it comes to food. Sometimes, I wish You'd make all my favorite foods taste like three-day-old hot dog water. But I know I'd just find new favorites. I need help to choose moderation over more, health over heaviness, and self-control over selling out.

Show me how to get through tomorrow...and the next day...and the next. One day at a time until we overcome my strongest weakness.

My Sister, My Best Friend

2011-10-18T00:00:00.003-07:00

Dear Karla,

Sometimes, I find it hard to believe we're adopted. The bond we share feels like it's in our blood. When you hurt, my heart sinks like a crow bar. When you're happy, my heart turns cartwheels. I know you feel the same toward me.

Sisters

You've literally always been there for me. At the tender age of eight, you became more than a big sister...you became a second mom to me. I look at the foul way my boys treat each other sometimes, and I'm completely baffled. I don't get it because you never mistreated me. You always made me feel special, important, and cherished. Well...except for that one time you hung the "I'm a thumb sucker" sign around my neck and made me wear it around the house to shame me into quitting the habit. I know you meant well. Months of therapy fixed me up. (grin)

Dean and Karla taking me on one of my first pony rides.

Dean, Karla, and me mid-70's

Karla's high school graduation 1980
Me, Karla, Buddy

From that first car ride home from the adoption agency, you've been proud of me. I remember hearing the story of you and Dean taking me out of the church nursery so that you could stand next to the preacher at the back door and show me off to the rest of the church family. I remember how you used to always call me "Whiz Kid" because you thought I was super smart.

You were always there to cheer me on no matter what I happened to be doing. Piano and dance recitals, school talent shows, and rodeo stuff. Remember how you cried your eyes out when I won the Little Miss Topps pageant?

My moment of fame and glory: Little Miss Topps 1980

My wedding day with my brother Dean and matron-of-honor Karla

The tears. Tears of pride. Tears of goodbye. Tears of grief when we lost our brother and then Buddy.

Dean and Buddy goofing off at a family BBQ

We've been through a lot these last few years. A lot of pain and a lot of joy. A lot of tears and a lot of laughs.

Karla laughing her head off about something or other

Karla, I can't fully describe how happy it makes me to see you and Bubba so in love and so happy and peaceful together. What a gift from God! What a blessing for me to be able to love you both so, so much.

Karla and Bubba on their wedding day 2009

I feel the same way when I see you with Shields, your soon-to-be daughter-in-love. That girl adores you! Matt is destined for success with two incredible women in his corner who love him and love each other. Shields can enter into her marriage with Matt knowing that you will support them, love them, and let them live their own lives without interference.

Karla and Matt

Shields, Mom, Karla, Me

I will never be able to repay you for the loving support you've given me as a momma to my three sons. Thank you for the way you love the boys and for the special attention you give to your fellow middle child, Logan.

Karla and Logan (10 yrs old or so)

Our parents are getting older. I think we both secretly wish our precious dad would go on to be with Jesus. Those trips to visit him in the nursing home are becoming more bitter and less sweet. It's hard to see our strong cowboy daddy so weak, so vulnerable, so unlike him. The thought of Dad and our brother Dean reunited in heaven comforts me.

Dad and Karla

Dean, Dad, and Karla at one of our famous family BBQ's

I pray we have many, many more years with our Southern belle, shopper extraordinaire mom, but at some point, it will probably be just the two of us left from our family of five. But we'll be ok because we're family and we're sisters-in-Christ. Adopted by law and adopted in Christ. One permanent, the other eternal.

Sisters...so different yet so the same. Your support and unconditional love buoys me in this raging sea of life. I love you, Karla. Happy 50th birthday!

My beautiful sister and me

PrayerGift Mondays: Baby Blessing

2011-10-17T00:00:00.009-07:00

My blog friend Brooke, has a beautiful e-book called Warrior Prayers, a 21-day guide full of scripture prayers moms can pray over their sons.
As a mom of three sons and a lover of praying God's Word, this is my kind of book!

Brook has a Facebook community of the same name; she recently posed the question:

What's your favorite go-to gift when a friend is expecting a baby boy?

These days, many expectant moms use the gift registry at Target to help friends and loved ones know what items they'd love to have for their nurseries.

I absolutely love printing off the wish list and wandering up and down the baby aisles. I usually choose a mixture of practical items and sweet stuff. When I get home, I lay the items across my desk and write up a prayer of blessing over the new baby (and the momma).

I use the gifts I've purchased as a guide as I write the blessing. I attach a specific quality of God to each item. That way, when the momma pulls out that blanket, that pack of wipes, or that bottle of aromatic baby soap, she will think of that quality of God.

Aww...it's easier just to show you what I mean. Here's a prayergift all wrapped up and ready for your next baby shower!

Sweet Momma,

As I strolled around Target with many memories of my own baby boys warming my heart, the gifts I laid in my basket began to remind me of God’s promises. I find great joy in applying God’s promises to everyday objects, for then I will think of those promises when I use the objects in my day-to-day life. If you are like me, there are some days you will need to be reminded of God’s presence and participation in your life. Below are the promises God gave me for each item in this gift bag.

• Soft, fleece blanket—As you spread this soft, warm blanket over your precious baby, be reminded of God’s love covering your family as you place your trust in Him. (Psalm 5:11)

• Baby spoons—As your little one sits in his high chair grinning at you with baby food dribbling from his chin, let these spoons be your reminder that God promises to nourish our souls as with the richest of foods if we look to Him. (Psalm 63:5)

• Baby wipes—Messy moments will undoubtedly happen (many times a day!), so let these baby wipes and the many, many ones that come after it cause you to think of God’s blessings that come to those with clean hands and a pure heart devoted to God alone. (Psalm 24:3-5)

• Diaper rash cream—Not only will this cream provide healing from those diaper rashes, it will also provide protection from future ones. As you slather on this thick, protective cream onto your baby's cute little bottom, be reminded that God’s love and truth will always protect you if you trust in Him. (Psalm 32:7)

• Bubble bath for mom—This bubble bath is a reminder from me that mommies must take some time to care for themselves. As you lower your weary body into a warm bath with these aromatic bubbles, be reminded that the Lord has a special place in His heart for mommas. Isaiah 40:11 says:

“He will feed his flock like a shepherd.

He will carry the lambs in his arms,

holding them close to his heart.

He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.”

Much love and blessings to you,

Sermon Note Sundays: Pray without Ceasing

2011-10-16T17:23:00.002-07:00

Tomorrow's church, Momma. Are you excited? My Jacob's question gave me pause...then smile.

I'm not sure I can fully describe how important a church family is in the life of a Believer. As much as I love my online connections via this blog, Facebook, and Twitter, there's no substitute for the loving support of a flesh and blood church family.

Hugs from Frieda. Hallelujahs from Evo. A hope-filled word from Pastor Gary. I love my church.

Today, Pastor Gary took us to the book of Colossians to talk about a lifestyle of prayer.

I've always been challenged by the idea of praying without ceasing.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (I Thessalonians 5:16-18 NKJV)

I mean...how is that possible? Can we really pray in every waking moment? Well, in the literal sense, the answer would be no, but a constant attitude of prayer is not only possible but necessary for all Believers.

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

The Lord brought this passage to Pastor Gary after a long day at the hospital ministering to church members having surgery. He spent a good part of the day sitting in the waiting room waiting and watching hosts of others waiting.

On the faces of the others, he saw myriad emotions: fear, concern, stress, and impatience. Gary found himself praying for each person in the waiting room. But something held him back from interacting with them. Distraction. Fear of judgement.

I didn't make the most of that opportunity. I could have spoken encouragement and truth into the lives of those people, but I remained silent.

Truth is, Pastor Gary did more than I would've done. At least he prayed for the people. I would have distracted myself from my worries by reading the five-year-old issues of People Magazine.

Paul instructs us to:

devote yourselves to prayer: In the Greek, the term "devote" meabeing ns to put forth intense effort, to be persistently obstinate, and to be single-minded. Don't you think we should be more enthusiastic about praying for others than we are about cheering for our favorite sports team or tuning in to our favorite TV show? I'm not judging here...I am as guilty as everyone else.

be watchful and thankful: As Christians, we should be in a constant state of high alert. Eyes wide open to see the needs around us. Eyes wide open to see all the things for which we should be thankful. Eyes wide open to see how God is working so we can join Him.

Paul desires to:

see open doors to share the Good News: If we keep our eyes open, we'll see open doors everywhere we turn. People are desperate for the hope only Christ can provide, but they don't know that's what they need. They just know there's an emptiness, a heart ache they can't erase.

proclaim it clearly: We can't make an eternal difference in people's lives in our own strength. We can only do it when we allow the Spirit to work through us. The more we get to know Him, the more we become like Him. Our thoughts become His thoughts. Our ways become His ways. Our words become His words. Our heart becomes His heart.

Paul challenges us to:

be wise in the way we act toward outsiders: Actions truly do speak louder than words. Everywhere we go, people are watching to see if Jesus makes a difference. The way we respond to life's challenges influences others. What kind of influence do you want to be? The evil one loves to catch us living life in our own strength because when we do that, we screw things up. Then he whispers in onlookers' ears, See that girl over there? She calls herself a Christian and look how she's acting! Again, we can't behave ourselve in our own strength, but by the strength of God, we can choose the right response to every situation.

make the most of every opportunity: When our eyes are open, the Lord will give us opportunities to make a difference. Just like Pastor Gary and the hospital waiting room. He cared enough to pray, but he failed to express his care to his fellow "waiters." Imagine how they would have felt to know Gary took the time to lift their needs up to God. Imagine what how this world would change if every Believer actually took the time to notice the needs, pray about them, and speak hope into the situations.

let our conversations be always full of grace and seasoned with salt so we'll know how to answer everyone: People should hear the words of Jesus coming out of our mouths. What would Jesus say to the terrified wife waiting for her husband to have bi-pass surgery? What would Jesus say to the child whose parents just split up. What would Jesus say to the man just out of prison and tempted to return to the drug use that sent him there in the first place? His words would be full of grace, hope, and purpose. His words would be seasoned with the salt of mercy and truth to draw the hurting to His heart.

There's no such thing as a day off or an off day. We don't have time for that. People are drowning and we have the life preserver!

Lord,

Open our eyes to the opportunities around us and help us to make the most of every, single one. Keep us in a constant state of high alert for ways we can be the salt and light this world so desperately needs. Guard our tongues to speak only what is beneficial to the listeners. And when we gaze into the eyes of another tired traveler, may our first inclination be to pray and then hear Your instructions on how to be Your hands, Your feet, and Your heart.

Five Minute Friday: Catching Contentment

2011-10-14T23:39:00.000-07:00

It's time for this week's Five Minute Friday post! I'm not gonna lie...it's kind of fun to just write without worrying about if it's just so.

This week's topic is "CATCH".

Why don't you join me? Go on over to The Gypsy Mama's place and link up your post. Be sure to comment on the post linked right before yours (and any others that catch your eye.)

Ok, here's my post for this week! Ready, set, go!

I'm feeling pretty antsy this weekend.

I want things to change and I want it to happen now.

I've been on a 2-week break from my teaching job, and I don't want to go back Monday. I want to write for a living. I want to sit at my desk and write all day long.

But writing doesn't buy the groceries...at least not yet. For now, I need to keep teaching, and it would serve me well to be content with what I'm doing now.

You know...the old adage...bloom where you're planted? It's true.

Friendships is another thing that has me all wound up. Old friendships seem to be changing. I don't like it one bit. I like the familiar, and the new territory I'm in is scary to me.

But God knows what He's doing. Why can't I just trust Him? He knows what I need. Oh, if I could just catch contentment.

Content with my life because I know God has it in His hand.

Settle my soul, Lord...to trust you, to believe you have my best interest at heart, to catch contentment.

A Review of Walking into Walls by Steve Arterburn

2011-10-12T00:00:00.002-07:00

A while back, I received a tweet from PR by the Book looking for folks to read Steve Arterburn's new book, Walking into Walls.

Well, it just so happens, the forehead of my heart is pretty beat up from walking into so many walls over the course of my adult life.

So I replied to the tweet and asked for a review copy of the book.

The book was sent to me with no strings attached. They just asked that I write a review if the book resonated with me in any way.

So, here I am with my copy of Walking into the Walls: 5 Blind Spots that Block God's Work in You sitting beside me, bleeding with pink highlighter. It resonated alright.

Walking into Walls (Worthy Publishing, August 2011), identifies the five "blind spots" that cause us to make poor choices: stubborn resistance, self-centered entitlement, justifiable resentment, blind ignorance, and disconnected isolation.

Steve Arterburn doesn't just inform readers about the walls, he shares practical guidance on how to stop banging our heads against them.

Through his work with New Life Ministries, Arterburn encounters men and women who desperately want to be healed from their hurts and hang-ups but keep repeating the same toxic patterns over and over...walking into walls, if you will.

My initial response to Steve's introductory statement was a mixture of skepticism and hope.

Even if you were living in the worst possible abusive situation or the most neglectful and disconnected relationship, you may have built a wall that keeps you stuck in a dark place where you don't have to stay. Once you take responsibility, you will find new hope and insight as you get your life unstuck and move past your wall.

I've read a boat-load of Christian books, but consistent emotional health seems to continue slipping from my desperate grasp.

Of all the books I've read, Walking into Walls spelled things out the most clearly. Steve Arterburn's matter-of-fact style kept me reading. He didn't waltz around the hard things. He spoke the truth in love.

The walls that hold us back are often constructions built in our own minds from incomplete or misunderstood pieces of reality and combined half-truths woven together in a way that builds a false perception of the truth. In that sense, what often stops us are barriers that aren't really there.

Steve doesn't discount the very real pain many of us have experienced. His compassion and understanding are evident throughout the book. But he understands that we allow our past and present trauma to multiply by the way we think about it.

He provides insight on how to change the way we think about our hurts and the people who perpetrated those hurts.

From romantic relationships and family bonds to job growth and satisfaction to health and recovery, Walking into Walls covers all areas for "getting unstuck" and moving into the future. The book also takes great care to distinguish the differences between walls and personal boundaries and offers a study guide for continued future use. (PR by the Book)

A straight-forward read, I recommend Walking into Walls to any wounded soul who wants to move past the pain and experience a full life without walls.

For more about Walking into Walls, hop on over to walkingintowalls.net.

Love Songs to Daddy

2011-10-11T16:08:00.000-07:00

Teeming with weary, antsy passengers, Gate A-23 was a people watcher's dream. Bleary-eyed from a day of goodbyes, I spied a family of four waiting their turn to enter the jet way.

With diaper bag on her shoulder a chestnut-haired mom pushed her squawking toddler in a packed-down stroller. We exchanged tired smiles.

Then, my attention became riveted to the daddy holding his older daughter's hand. She couldn't have been more than five. Her shiny brown hair bounced in a pony tail as she held on tight to her daddy's right arm.

I love my daddy! I love! I love him! I love Daddy, she sang to the man of her heart.

Captivated by the sight, I was transported to a similar scene from earlier in the day.

My sister drove me to see our dad in the nursing home one last time before I flew home.

Much to our delight, Dad wasn't in his bed; he was in the dining room surrounded by other residents. I can't remember the last time I saw Dad out of bed. Even though he can't feed himself or interact with the other residents, I believe it does him good to be in the presence of the hustle and bustle of life.

I settled down on a rolling stool and stooped down to get eye-level with Dad.

Hey, good lookin! Whatcha got cookin'? How's about cookin' something up with me? Hey sweet baby. Don'tcha think maybe we could find us a brand-new recipe? Dad's eyes brightened at the sound of one of his favorite Hank Williams songs.

Karla scratched Dad's stooped back while I rubbed his frail arms.

Karla and our sweet daddy

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You never know dear how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.

Dad's lips moved, just a little. I think he was trying to sing along.

After a few minutes of doting on our dad who always doted on us, Karla and I went on our way so the lunchtime routine could commence.

A familiar heaviness settled in my heart. It happens every time I have to say goodbye to Dad.

Will that be the last time I see him alive? The last time for me to sing love songs to the first man to capture my heart?

Back to the present, my fellow passengers and I began to edge down the jet way. A few feet ahead, the little brown-haired girl continued her daddy serenade. She glanced back at me, and I smiled at her.

And that's where the fairy tale ended. That little twerp gave me the dirtiest mean girl look ever! If her eyes were bullets, I'd be one dead bird!

Don't worry little miss prissy...I have my own daddy to love.

A Glimpse Into a Mother's Heart

2011-10-08T19:19:00.001-07:00

I spent the day with my Aunt Neda from Inverness, Mississippi.

From left to right
My mom Mable, Uncle RL, Granny, Aunt Venia, Uncle Kenneth, and Aunt Neda
This pic was taken in the early 80's
Granny and Uncle Kenneth are now in heaven

A retired bank employee, Aunt Neda is a textbook Southern belle with her Southern drawl and conservative sensibilities. She's the only person I've ever heard turn the word "bank" into a two-syllable word.

Although she spent several years of her early married life at various military bases with her soldier husband, Aunt Neda has spent the majority of her life right there in Inverness, a tiny town in Northern Mississippi. Inverness is known for cotton, soybeans, and farm-raised catfish. The slightly larger town next door, Indianola, is the birthplace of legendary guitarist, BB King.

Eighty-four years young, Aunt Neda's arthritis really cramps her style. She can't get around as well as she'd like, and her beloved sewing projects take a lot longer than they used to.

But she can still play the piano, which she does everyday for the sheer joy of it. And she goes to her Bible study class every week, never failing to do her daily lessons. It's almost time for her turn to host the garden club at her little home. Her hand tremors and poor balance keep her from being the kind of hostess she's used to being, but, don't worry, she'll have a nice buffet set up with all the proper fixings.

Aunt Neda has three children and three grandchildren.

Kathy, her oldest, lives in Knoxville, Tennessee with her husband Les. They have an 18 year-old daughter named Anna.

Mike and Leslie are Aunt Neda's twin sons. Mike is married to Suzie, and they live close by with their son and daughter, Max and Garraway. Leslie is single and also lives nearby.

As children grow and mature, most mothers are able to ease off the worrying and fretting, but Aunt Neda's circumstances are somewhat unique.

You see, all three of her children have ataxia, a genetic disease of the nervous system. Abnormal genes produce abnormal proteins that attack nerve cells causing reduced coordination. Ataxia can affect the whole body including eye movements and swallowing, but the most noticeable effects occur in the limbs.

Kathy, who is only 59 years old, is disabled to the point of having to use a walker. She used to be an avid tennis player and hiker, but now, she struggles to get from one end of the house to the other.

At 54, Mike and Leslie are in better shape than Kathy, but every year that passes results in reduced coordination and balance for both of them.

With ataxia being a hereditary disease, I know Aunt Neda is concerned for her grandchildren and future generations.

I can't imagine watching my children succumb to a disease with no cure.

I don't know how she does it.

Lee, sometimes, if I really dwell on it, I can get pretty down, but I don't want my children to worry. They have enough to deal with. I just have to stay positive, and if I really get down and out, I can always talk to Levenia (her baby sister).

I have a new-found respect and admiration for my mother's big sister, Onedia Belle Maxwell Anderson.

I have a new sense of urgency to pray for her and the ones she adores. Would you care to join me?

Lord,

Thank you for the chance to catch a glimpse into my Aunt Neda's heart. My own momma heart aches at the thought of my sons battling a disease with no known cure. Please, Lord, inspire researchers with new treatments that will improve life quality for ataxia patients like my dear cousins.

For Kathy, Mike, and Leslie, I pray for Your power to be shown. Oh, Lord, how we'd love to see them completely healed and set free from the chains of this disease. We know You have the power to do that very thing if You so choose. Would You do that, Lord? If so, we'd shout it from the rooftops giving You every iota of the glory and fame!

If it's not in Your plans for them to be healed in this lifetime, I pray for Your power to be shown in their mental, spiritual, and emotional health. May they never lose heart. "Though outwardly [they] are wasting away, yet inwardly [they] are being renewed day by day. For [their] light and momentary troubles are achieving for [them] an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. (2 Corinthians 4:15-17 NIV)

Provide for their every need according to Your riches and glory just as they have lived their lives in service to You. (Philippians 4:19) Provide supernatural strength, faith, and perseverance that will astound onlookers and make them want to know You, too.

Sisters, Shock Collars, and Seeing Joy

2011-10-06T20:17:00.001-07:00

When the little American Eagle "crop duster" plane landed at the airport in Longview, Texas, I pressed my face up to the window hoping to catch a glimpse of my sister through the tinted airport windows. I couldn't see her, but I knew she was there. Her anticipation was palpable.

Can you see me? My Blackberry delivered her message.

It seemed as if I'd never get off that plane, but finally my sister and I were a tan and white sister pretzel, all hugs and smiles.

We aren't birth sisters, but we couldn't be more bonded if we were. We've seen each other through some of the most beautiful seasons and some of the ugliest ones.

I can talk to her about absolutely anything with no concern about judgment or misunderstanding. We speak the truth to each other with nothing but each other's best interest at heart.

I. am. blessed.

Yesterday, Karla asked me about my latest writing projects. (She's my biggest fan ya know.) I just completed a short story about the miracle love story she's living with her wonderful hubby, Bubba. Here's a post I wrote about their story last year.

Most recently, I wrote an article called "How to Lose a Friend in Three Easy Steps" about what God taught me through a friendship broken by my own neediness.

Karla asked me to explain what brought the article about, so I shared the embarrassing story of being so needy and demanding that a friend had to write me a "Dear Lee" email telling me to get lost.

"The Lord is helping me make sure I keep healthy boundaries in my friendships," I explained.

"Well, Lee, do we need to get you a shock collar? You know...to keep you in your boundaries?" Karla deadpanned.

And the laughing began. I was taking myself way too seriously, and she took care of that. We do that for each other.

Yesterday, we moseyed over to Linden, Texas to visit our cowboy dad in the nursing home. He was pretty sleepy, but he did open one eye and give us a looking over.

I never got him to say my name or an "I love you," but I got to hold his tremory hand and kiss his forehead. He gave me a tiny peck on the cheek, too.

I sang all the songs in my repertoire: Amazing Grace, How Great Thou Art, I'll Fly Away. The only song he joined in on was the little ditty, "I love you a bushel and a peck...a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck."

I mentioned to him that it was Mom's birthday. He and Mom were married for 33 years before divorcing in 1990. "Dad, what do you think Mable's doing today?"

"Shopping," he uttered as quick as a blink. Some things, he'll never forget.

After visiting with Dad, Karla and I drove to Jefferson, a town close by known for its antique shops and bed and breakfasts.

We had a homestyle lunch at the cutest little diner I've ever seen, a new place called Beje's Diner.

Not only was the food yummy, the owner was walking around the place with her "Jesus Christ: The Real Thing" t-shirt on.

Karla was in the market for some inexpensive end tables, so we scoured the local shops and found just the ones she had in mind. I thoroughly enjoyed browsing through the antique shops. Around every dusty corner, I saw something that reminded me of my childhood.

Hollie Hobbie Christmas glasses. Old picture books with all-too-familiar covers. Dishware with those cute little Campbell's Soup kids on them.

Today, we did a little shopping and stopped over to visit with my dear friend, Toni Tate. Toni's in a long-term rehab center learning how to walk again after having her leg amputated. The last time I saw her, she was still waiting for her stump to heal so she could have her prosthetic leg fitted. Well, today, I got to see her walking! She still needs a walker at this point, but she was upright and on two feet! I wish I'd thought to take a photo, but I think I was so overjoyed, I couldn't take my eyes off her!

Seeing her walk was like seeing joy.

Joy. That settledness of spirit that whispers, "All is well."

I'm only two days in on this little vacation, and I'd say things are going pretty well.

Tomorrow, my two Mississippi aunties are driving in to spend the weekend. If my Southern accent hasn't returned already, it will happen within the hour of reuniting with those Southern belles.

Lord, thank you for such a sweet time with my family. A time to just relax and enjoy life. Thank you for my sister's love, for the chance to sing to my daddy, for the sheer joy of seeing Toni walk, and for healing my needy heart without resorting to a shock collar. I'm laughing, and I'm loving. AMEN

Puzzled

2011-10-04T00:00:00.003-07:00

My sweetie and I went out for some sushi tonight. A little couple time before I jet off to Louisiana for a week.

Flat-screen TV's were mounted above the sushi bar...some were playing Michael Bolton videos (yeah...it creeped me out just a little bit, too), and one was playing my momma's favorite game show, Wheel of Fortune.

As my sweetie was ordering our sushi rolls, my "word nerd" eyes were drawn to the puzzles on "The Wheel."

One-by-one, I guessed the puzzles, much to the pride of my hubby. "You're pretty good at this!" he mused.

Made me think of last Friday when a handful of my special education students chose to use their free time to play Hangman on the white board.

My co-teacher and I got downright tickled watching the kids try to figure out each other's puzzles. You have to admit, Hangman's probably not the game for kids who can't spell.

While I may be quick-witted when it comes to game show puzzles, I feel more like my "special ones" when it comes to filling in the blanks of my life.

I never thought of myself as a control freak, but I think, in some ways, I am.

I want to know how life will pan out.

Will my dream of a full-time ministry of encouragement become a reality?

Will my loved ones for whom I've prayed for years ever give their hearts to Jesus?

Will my family tree be a mighty oak of righteousness? (Isaiah 61:3)

Will I get to wrap my arms around my birth parents?

Will I ever release all this excess weight?

When will my insecurities eventually stop assaulting me?

When will my cowboy daddy leave his broken mind and body behind and take his final trail ride?

What kind of plans does God have for Cliff and me when we're empty nesters in a short six years?

Lots of blanks for Him to fill in.

Some of the puzzles may be solved quickly, suddenly, miraculously. The world would call it "dumb luck."

Others may have solutions I'm not expecting. Something completely opposite of what I've harbored in my heart.

Some puzzles may not be solved in my episode.

Sometimes, I get restless in the waiting.

I want to know!

I may be nosy and a little impatient, but I'm not afraid.

My trust is in the Puzzle Maker.

I know He has everything spelled out for me with no typos. He'll uncover the clues one-at-a-time when I'm ready to know them.

He knows how much I can handle. He knows the deep-down heart of the people I love because He loves them way more than I do. He knows.

Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word.

Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good;
God probes for what is good.
Put God in charge of your work,
then what you've planned will take place.

We plan the way we want to live,

but only God makes us able to live it.
Proverbs 16:1-3,9 MSG

In His hands,

PrayerGift Mondays: Convinced, Captivated, Called

2011-10-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

My son, Garrett, is a senior in high school, chomping at the bit to be free from the confines of childhood.

He's ready to be his own person, to make his own decisions, and to be his own boss.

I can't blame him; I felt the same way at his age.

Now that he's on the cusp of adulthood, I'm a little scared.

I'm scared that he'll turn away from the Lord.

Barna research suggests that "nearly three out of every five young Christians (59%) disconnect either permanently or for an extended period of time from church life after age 15."

Go here to read an article about some of the reasons why.

My boys have attended church from the time they were a month old. They cut their teeth on Bible story board books in the church nursery.

All three of my boys prayed to receive Christ as young children. At the time, my momma heart was full of relief, pride, and hope for their futures.

My boys have rarely questioned anything to do with church, faith, and God. They've blindly accepted what they've been taught.

But now...now they are getting older. They are starting to think about things in a deeper way. They want to know who God is and why He does the things He does. They want to know if He really is the way, the truth, and the life.

They struggle with saying Christ is the only answer when many of their friends have other answers that seem viable.

I want my boys to know Christ...really know Him. I want them to experience His influence on every element of their lives. I want them to be convinced that Jesus is, indeed, the answer to every one of their questions.

Here is my prayer for my boys. Would you like to make it the prayer for your children, too?

Lord,

Seventeen years ago, I became a momma. I still remember the feel of that big, beautiful bundle being placed on my chest. Truly, my life was transformed that day...that day I became a momma.

In six years time, I became a mother of three. My three sons.

We've been through bottles, potty training, flag football, and homework. My boys squabble and make monstrous messes. They make my grocery bill balloon up and my gas tank hover near "E".

They are beautiful blessings, and I am blown away at how fast they've grown up.

Soon, our first chick will leave the nest. He's ready, Lord. So driven. So determined to succeed.

He has plans. Big plans. Have you noticed, Lord, that Your name doesn't come up much in his plans?

I'm scared, Lord. Scared my boy...my boys...won't follow hard after You.

Convince them, Lord

Show them that "[You are] the Light that has come into the world so [that if they] believe in [You, they] won't have to stay any longer in the dark." (John 12:46 MSG)

When they look at You, may they see Your "original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels--everything got started in [You] and finds its purpose in [You]. [You] were there before any of it came into existence and hold it all together right up to this moment." (Colossians 1:15-17 MSG)

May they not "look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in [their] spare time. [May they not] fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do." (Matthew 7:13 MSG)

Open their eyes to the truth that "[You are] the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from [You]." (John 14:6 MSG)

[May they be] "absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between [them] and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced [them]. (Romans 8:31 MSG)

Captivate them, Lord

The words from one of my favorite songs speaks my heart for my boys (and myself).

Your face is beautiful
And Your eyes are like the stars
Your gentle hands have healing
There inside the scars

Your loving arms they draw me near
And Your smile it brings me peace
Draw me closer oh my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down

And rushing river, draw us nearer
Holy fountain consume us with You
Captivate us Lord Jesus, with You

Your voice is powerful
And Your words are radiant bright
In Your breath and shadow
I will come close and abide

You whisper love and life divine
And Your fellowship is free
Draw me closer O my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Captivate us, Lord Jesus

Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down

And rushing river, draw us nearer
Holy fountain consume us with You
Captivate us Lord Jesus, with You

Let everything be lost in the shadows
Of the light of Your face
Let every chain be broken from me
As I’m bound in Your grace

For Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light
You’re full of wisdom, power and might
And every eye will see You

Captivate us, Lord Jesus

Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down

And rushing river, draw us nearer
Holy fountain consume us with You
Captivate us Lord Jesus, with You
Nathan &Christy Nockels; Charlie Hall

Call them by name

Lord, I can remember the boys all asking me the same question at some point in their young lives. "Momma, what do you want me to be when I grow up?"

Oh, Lord, You know my heart! You know my deepest desire for my boys is for them to love You and serve You with everything they have. I want them to live purposeful lives focused on making a difference in this broken-down world.

I want them to be godly husbands and fathers, courageously standing for truth in a society of lies.

Call them, Lord. May each of my boys have a face-to-face encounter with You where they hear Your voice calling them by name.

Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.

I've called your name. You're mine.
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.
When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you're between a rock and a hard place,
it won't be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God." (Isaiah 43:1-3 MSG)

Whisper to their hearts, Lord: "Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you.Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. (Jeremiah 1:5, 29:11 MSG)

Lord, hear my momma heart. I want my boys to know You...really know You. I want them to love You with everything they are. I want them to be exactly who You created them to be. Convince them that You are the way. Captivate their questioning hearts. Call them by name in an unmistakable way.

In the perfect Name of Jesus I pray, AMEN

Sermon Note Sundays: The Heart of Service

2011-10-02T22:47:00.000-07:00

Today marks the kick-off of my church's month-long emphasis on world hunger. Please take a moment to watch this video we watched today. Pray about how to use your voice and your resources to eliminate world hunger.

World Hunger Fund for Horn of Africa Relief from Africa Stories on Vimeo.

A plastic bread loaf-shaped bank sits on my family's kitchen counter as a reminder of the millions of people suffering from famine, poverty, and constant hunger.

Here are just a few ideas on how to spur up extra funds for the world hunger fund.

Every evening, deposit all loose change from your pocket or purse into the bread bank.
When a hankering for a trip to the drive-thru or Starbucks crosses your mind, make a conscious choice to use that money to eliminate world hunger instead of filling your nourished belly.
Gather up some household items you'd normally give to Goodwill and have a garage sale to fight world hunger.
Skip a meal and spend that time in prayer and fasting over the painful reality of world hunger. Use the money you would have spent on lunch for the world hunger fund.
Choose to drink only tap water for a week or more. Use your soda pop/coffee/beer/fancy tea budget for the world hunger fund.

When I consider the deplorable conditions of so many parts of this world, sometimes, I'm tempted to throw my hands up and say, "Lord, where are You???"

But then I realize that I am part of the body of Christ. Every Believer is. Where is the Lord in times of desperate need? The question should be, where am I? Where are you? God calls us to be His hands, His feet, His heart, and His voice.

Pastor Gary's sermon kept service on the forefront.

He took us to Genesis Chapter 18 where Abraham meets the pre-incarnate Christ for the fifth time. By that time, Abraham knew who stood before him. And he knew just what to do. Take a peek.

The LORD appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground.

He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by. Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant.”

“Very well,” they answered, “do as you say.”

So Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. “Quick,” he said, “get three seahs of the finest flour and knead it and bake some bread.”

Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice, tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it. He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set these before them. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree. (Genesis 18:1-8)

During the heat of the day, 99-year-old Abraham was taking a rest on his front porch. His 89-year-old wife, Sarah was puttering around inside. Abraham's 318 servants were scattered around the land tending to various duties. A normal day until three men appeared. Abraham knew it was it was the Lord because he had seen him four times before. By watching Abraham's behavior in the next moments, we learn the attitude the Lord expects of His servants.

1. Humble service

Abraham bowed low to the ground before the three men. He knew their presence made his front yard holy ground.

As Believers, we are never so high as when we're bowed low before our Lord. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." (I Peter 5:6)

Abraham begged the men to let him serve them. He knew what an honor it was to do even the smallest thing for the Lord.

God handpicks us for His service. "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)

Later in the story, as the Lord and His angelic companions were resting and eating, Abraham stood nearby waiting for any additional service they might need.

Like Abraham, we need to live our lives with eyes wide open for opportunities to serve the Lord. No matter how big or how small the act of service, our humble willingness is pleasing to Christ.

2. Hurried service

From the moment the Lord arrived, Abraham was in high gear. He hurried to meet them. He hurried to tell Sarah to bake bread as quick as she could. He ran to the herd to select a choice calf for a servant to prepare in a hurry.

Humble service to God is a tremendous energizer, and when we serve with great passion, our energy is contagious!

3. Harmonious service

Abraham didn't hoard the blessing of serving. He involved others. Sarah baked the bread. Servants brought water and prepared the calf and other foods. Together, Abraham, Sarah, and the servants prepared a picnic fit for Christ himself. He also didn't sit back on his tail and let everyone else do the work. He had 318 servants; he could have ordered them to do everything.

Serving God together is a unifier. Even if we don't agree about everything, we can agree on how worthy Christ is of our service.

We are the body of Christ! When some of us choose to sit back and let everyone else do it, the Lord's work will not get done. Whether we use our spiritual gifts or not, we possess them. He expects us to ALL be serving. Centenarian Abraham understood that, and so should we.

4. Honorable service

Abraham served with intensity, excitement, and energy. He gave the Lord the very best of his time, his effort, and his resources.

God deserves our best not our leftovers.

5. Helpful service

Abraham gave the Lord and his companions what they needed at that very moment: clean feet, a shady spot to rest, and a refreshing meal. He took what he had and used it to be a blessing to God's heart.

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." (I Peter 4:10-11)

As we journey through our days, the Lord wants us to be watchful for opportunities to meet needs in His name.

The other day, I had one of those opportunities. It was a weary Monday night, and I was dragging myself from aisle to aisle at the grocery store. As I was chucking some 5 for $10 Hot Pockets in my buggy, a woman trudged toward me. It looked like she was about to cry.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Not really," she stammered.

I closed the freezer case door and place a hand on her shoulder. "Can I pray for you?"

Tears started flowing as she said, "Yes, please."

Right there in the frozen food aisle, I was blessed with an unexpected opportunity to love on someone in Jesus' name. Was it awkward? A little. But who cares? That dear woman left that grocery store encouraged, and I left strangely energized despite my long day at work.

6. Heroic service

Abraham got to serve the Lord "in the flesh." We, on the other hand, serve Him by serving others in His name.

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?"

The King will reply, "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." (Matthew 25:35-40)

When we reach out in loving service to one of God's children, we are serving Him.

When we notice a colleague with downcast eyes and provide prayer and encouragement, we serve God.

When we pull out our pocketbook to buy a meal for the needy guy holding a sign, we feed God.

When we cook a hot meal for a sick neighbor, we provide nourishment to God.

When we take love into the prisons, the rescue missions, and the halfway houses, we take love to God.

When we reach out to strangers in the grocery store, the restaurant, or the bowling alley, we reach out to God.

When we give sacrificially to the World Hunger Fund, we feed God.

With Jesus in our hearts, everything we do becomes eternal because it is all for Him. For His glory. For His pleasure.

How will you serve Him today?

Lord, keep our eyes wide open for opportunities to serve You by serving others. May the Body of Christ be united in purpose. May we put differences aside and focus on the main thing: You. Spur us on to good deeds for Your glory.

In Jesus' Name I pray, AMEN

Look what a sweet little girl gave me after church? I think she was paying attention to the sermon. With her tender kindergarten heart, Natalie served the Lord by showing His heart to me.

Five Minute Fridays: Cotton Friends

2011-09-30T20:34:00.002-07:00

It's time for Five Minute Fridays! A time to grab the topic and run with it with no worry about making it just so. Five minutes of pouring heart through fingers.

This week's topic is "Friends."

Why don't you join us! Write up your post and go on over to Lisa-Jo's place to link up!

While you're there, take a minute to read Lisa-Jo's beautiful post and visit some of the others who linked up before you. It's a sweet way to expand your bloggy horizons!

Ok, so the topic is friends...so here....I.....go....(5 minutes)

When I ponder my life, I see it quilted with fabrics of friendship.

Some friends smooth like satin...a soft touch but easy to slip away.

Others scratchy like wool...warm on a cold day but irritating to my tender heart.

The best ones are soft, sturdy cotton. Natural. Easy to iron out the wrinkles. Forgiving. Comfortable.

Thank you, Lord, for all friends, but for cotton friends, thanks a bunch.

Slow and Steady

2011-09-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

I am worn slap out.

I wonder how many blog posts I've started with that statement?

In two days, I'll hang up my Payne Panthers lanyard for two glorious weeks. As much as I love my job and my students, I am always way ready when a break rolls around.

Life has been sorta tricky for the last several weeks.

Work challenges and family challenges have kept me hopping.

Normally, I feel such an overwhelming compulsion to fix everything that I stir myself up into a frenzy.

Not this time.

Yes, I'm concerned. I'm curious about how God will work everything out. I have moments of sadness. But my peace is still in tact.

I'm moving slow, but I'm steady.

Next week, I'm flying off to Louisiana to spend a week with my sister and brother-in-love. I'll get to hold my daddy's hand. I may get to meet a few friends and cousins for lunch or sweet tea. My aunties are coming in for a couple days. I can't think of next week without smiling.

I hope to do a little brainstorming with some LA women's ministry pals about how to begin building a support system for my beloved Heart of Mesa sisters. I hesitate to call it launching a women's ministry because I stink at organizing. But I shine at loving.

The second week of break will be spent at home with my guys. We'll do a little housework and a lot of slacking off.

Despite my weary body and mind, my soul is settled. Jesus loves me and has my life in His hands.

He adores my family, my co-workers, and my friends. I have no cause to worry or fret because He is everything.

Lord, I need this break something awful. I need more sleep, more down-time, and more time just sitting in Your presence. But, I have to say "thanks" for being everything I could ever need. Keep me leaning hard on You. Keep me trusting in Your unfailing love. Keep me choosing to do things Your way.

In Jesus' Name I pray, AMEN

A Review of A Confident Heart

2011-09-28T00:17:00.002-07:00

I first met Renee Swope in an elevator at my first She Speaks Conference.

If I remember correctly, I was bolting up to my hotel room to touch up my lipstick before a publisher appointment.

I was struck by her sweet smile and the hint of mischief in her eyes. Later in the weekend, she shared a stirring message about living beyond the shadow of doubt.

I'm not one who remembers message topics years later, but I remember that one because it spoke straight to the desperate need of my heart.

I heard Renee's message just as I was embarking on a terrible, horrible, beautiful, life-changing quest for wholeness.

The last few years have been a bumpy road of milestones and setbacks. I've been so low I wanted to die and as steady as an elephant's back.

Recently, I read Renee's beautiful book, A Confident Heart.

As I absorbed each page, I felt like it was a chronicle of all the lessons I've learned over these years of healing. Chapter-after-chapter, I found myself nodding in agreement with Renee's hard-won wisdom and perspective.

Using her own experiences, Renee takes her readers from the shadow of self-doubt to the sunshine of security in Christ.

Doubts seem true in the shadow.

I can't do this. Things will never change. My life will never get any better. Change is too hard.

Renee wrestled with all those doubts and more until she came to realize that "doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time."

Renee explains that it's ok not to be perfect because we serve a God who is. His love won't fail even when we do.

We don't have to pretend to have it all together. Guess what? No one else has it together either!

However, it's not easy to be honest about our doubts and insecurities. "We fear that if people know we doubt ourselves, they'll start doubting us too." Those of us who struggle with insecurity tend to be expert pretenders, but eventually, we just can't do it anymore. And that's just where God wants us.

He wants us raw, restless, and real.

Like the Samaritan woman Renee affectionately calls "Sam", the only way God can "satisfy the thirst of [our] soul [is] to help [us] see it."

Only Christ can quench the thirst we have for true love and acceptance. Once we quit trying to fill our well with counterfeit water, God is free to pour into us from His limitless supply.

God guarantees us a hope-filled future no matter how hopeless our past seems.

He finds a way to make every painful experience from the past into something beautiful, useful, and redeemable.

We must let God rewrite our stories.

Renee writes, "The Holy Spirit showed me I needed to remake my memories by seeing how Jesus had been there all along, and then replace the lies my wounds had led me to believe with new truths He was teaching me through Scripture."

Like Sam (and Renee), we can allow God to make our mess into His message.

There's only one way to live beyond the shadow of our doubts. We must change our focus from self to God. "Turning leads to transforming...and transforming leads to believing as God's thoughts [about us] become our Truth."

Turning away from self
Turning away from doubt
Turning away from darkness
Turning toward God
Turning toward Truth
Turning toward Light

When doubt whispers "I'm not good enough," we must remember that we get our "good enough" from God, not our own efforts.

When doubt whispers "I'm such a failure," we can take hope in the truth that our failures don't have the final say; Jesus does.

When doubt whispers "I don't have anything special to offer," we can be assured that we have unique abilities gifted to us from God Himself.

When doubt whispers "I can't stop worrying," we can rest in the strong arms of God's powerful promises.

When doubt whispers "I can't follow God consistently," we can let God's "grace cover our guilt" and turn us from "wimps to warriors."

We can live beyond the shadow of doubt! The more we know our God, the more we will trust Him, believe Him, and obey Him.

Sister, if you are drowning in doubt, fear, and insecurity, you don't have to live like that any more. Jesus wants to make you well. He is able! He did it for "Sam." He did it for Renee Swope. He did it for me.

Renee's beautiful book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and live in the Security of God's Promises, is a tool God can use to lovingly guide you to assurance, peace, and security.

Not only does the book contain strong, biblical teaching, Renee provides a wealth of practical resources to help you along the way.

My favorite is a listing of the names of God. I will be using that list in my prayer life, lots.

She also provides information about the personality types and the spiritual gifts to help readers understand how they are made and how they are gifted by the Holy Spirit.

The entire book is chock-full of life-giving Scripture readers can cling to and share with others.

I encourage you to pick up copies of A Confident Heart for yourself and someone you love. It would make a wonderful small group study. In fact, Melissa Taylor is hosting an online study right now!

Amazon is an easy place to grab your copy of A Confident Heart either in print or on Kindle. You can also get a copy from Proverbs 31 Ministries where Renee is the executive director of communications and radio ministries. When you purchase from Proverbs 31, some of your purchase will be used to provide resources to women who need a deeper relationship with Christ.

While I was provided a review copy of A Confident Heart by Revell Publishing, I was not required to provide a positive review. I was compelled to give a positive review based on the high quality and eternal value in Renee Swope's important book. I can't wait for Renee's next book!

Jericho

2011-09-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

My sweetie rescheduled worship team practice last week. Normally a Thursday night affair, we met up in the sanctuary around lunchtime on Saturday.

Since we normally practice after dark, it was a change of pace to be able to see the happenings going on beyond the doors of the sanctuary.

As we ran through the worship music, a family on a bike ride caught my eye.

Our church campus is somewhat unique in that we have a fellowship hall that's perfectly round. We call it the "round building." Isn't that creative of us?

I don't know who came up with the idea of the round building, but whoever it was must have been a little on the quirky side. It's one quirky building. The rooms are shaped all funky, and the roof is flat and covered with gray gravel. It's just a weird building all the way around, but we use the living daylights out of it.

Anyway...back to the family on the bike ride.

It was a dad and three or four kids of various ages and biking abilities. Since the round building is surrounded by a sidewalk, the family took a loop around.

And then another.

And another.

And one more.

I thought to myself, I wonder if they'll make seven loops and then give a mighty shout so the round building will come crashing down?

You know that story from Joshua 6? I'm surprised they haven't made a Disney movie about it. Here's the general gist.

Then the LORD said to Joshua, “See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men. March around the city once with all the armed men. Do this for six days. Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams’ horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the army will go up, everyone straight in.” (Joshua 6:2-5)

I love it when the Lord does things in such a way that no one can take credit for His work but Him.

How unconventional for the army to just march and shout.

Watching that family loop around our round building time-after-time reminded me of something God whispered in my heart weeks before. Something God whispered, but I ignored.

For a while now, I've felt the Lord telling me to represent Him well on my own little cul-de-sac in Gilbert, Arizona.

Through World Vision, our family sponsors a little girl named Nenisha from Mozambique.

Through the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering, our family supports international missions.

Through Operation Christmas Child, our family shares the gift of Jesus to children in the uttermost parts of the earth.

Through FaceBook and Twitter, I pray for friends in their times of need.

But on my own street? Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

I don't pray for them consistently. I don't serve them in tangible and eternal ways. I don't share my faith or my time. My neighbors get nothing from the Merrill family but some excess weeds from our front yard and the occasional renegade shihtzu.

That's just wrong, and it doesn't make me feel any better to suspect that I'm not the only one who neglects the ones in my own backyard.

Here's what I feel the Lord telling me to do.

1. PREPARE

Just like Joshua and his forces, I hear the Lord telling me to do some marching. I hear Him telling me to prayer march around my cul-de-sac pouring my heart out for my neighbors.

I'm ashamed to say, I don't know many of my neighbors by name. I smile and wave when we pass on the street, but I know nothing about them. Their joys. Their heartaches. Their needs.

2. TAKE ACTION

I hear the Lord telling me to get to know my neighbors. Maybe a block party. Maybe inviting each family, one-by-one, into our home. Maybe a picnic at the park. I'm not quite sure what God wants just yet. I just know He wants me to do something. He wants me to love. I suspect He'll show me what to do while I'm prayer marching.

3. WATCH HIM WORK

The Israelites did exactly what God told them to do, and He did more than they ever dreamed He would do!

I want to see my cul-de-sac in love with Jesus! I want to see families whole and strong in Jesus' name. I want to see the entire street bound together to be a big, fat floodlight for Jesus Christ!

4. GIVE HIM ALL THE GLORY

For weeks, the Lord has been whispering to my soul about prayer walking through my neighborhood. I've been putting it off and making excuses.

Seeing that family circling our round building on their bikes was God's gentle reminder to me. Get after it, Birdie!

For some crazy reason, God chooses to use me (and you) to bring about His plans. I choose to heed His instructions and start prayer marching around my cul-de-sac.

The next steps are up to Him.

Lord, in obedience and out of love for my neighbors, I will march and pray. I claim my cul-de-sac for You...all for Your glory. AMEN

PrayerGift Mondays: A Prayer for Quitters

2011-09-26T00:55:00.000-07:00

Growing up, my mom signed me up for every kind of lesson a girl could take in Shreveport, Louisiana. Thirteen years of piano lessons. Gymnastics. Ice skating. Dance lessons of all kinds. Baton twirling. Drama with Ms. Rosenbloom. White Gloves and Party Manners. Mr. Lynn's Modeling Course. Tennis.

Would you believe none of them "stuck"? I was a quitter of epic proportions.

The only lessons I took that still benefit me today are the voice lessons I took under the coaching of my friend and youth choir director, Judy Felts. Thanks, Judy! (and mom)

No one likes a quitter, right? Quitting is for sissies.

Well, today, I want to spend some time in prayer for a different kind of quitter. I prefer to call them overcomers.

Folks who wear the shackles of addiction and are determined to break free.

Addiction has myriad faces.

Maybe it's addiction to substances like nicotine, alcohol, or drugs.

Maybe it's addiction to sensations like pornography, gambling, or sex outside of marriage.

Maybe it's addiction to excess like overeating, overspending, or overdependence on human approval.

Whatever your issue, God desires for all of His dear ones to be overcomers...quitters if you will.

This prayer is for you and for me.

God is on our side. Today's the day to quit anything that holds us back from being who He created us to be.

Lord,

It is for freedom that You set us free, but many of us choose to remain chained to addiction. (Galatians 5:1) Oh, how it must break Your heart to see Your children struggling against forces You've already overcome for us.

Like sparrows trapped inside an airport terminal, we fight and flail until we're worn slap out, but we fail to lower ourselves so we can see the wide-open door of freedom.

Every moment we remain captive to addiction is a moment forever lost. An opportunity missed. A joy unrealized.

Compel us, Lord, to quit making excuses, masquerading as whole, and minimizing our sin.

No more excuses

Addicts are masters of procrastination. Today is never a good day to quit.

Next week will be better, once this stressful work project is over.

I can't make a change right now; it'll ruin my vacation.

My husband isn't giving me what I need, and until he does, I will get it elsewhere.

How can I quit when I'm surrounded by addicts who don't want to quit?

I don't have to quit. I'm a sinner, but I'm saved by grace.

Lord, obliterate our excuses with the reality of truth.

What is the truth?

No more excuses, Lord. A life of sin = death. A life of obedience = life.

Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! When we offer ourselves to someone as obedient slaves, we are slaves of the one we obey—whether we are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness.

Thanks to You, Lord, though we are slaves to sin, we can be set free from sin and become slaves to righteousness. Just as we used to offer ourselves as slaves to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, right this instant, we can choose to offer ourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness.

What benefit do we reap from the things we are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But as soon as we are set free from sin and become slaves of God, the benefit we reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6)

Sermon Note Sundays: No Room for God

2011-09-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

I got to scratch Dave Hunter's back today. He was in a wheelchair, but he was "at home" at the Heart of Mesa. Mr. Dave has advanced Alzheimer's as well as other health issues. Please pray for him and even more so for his precious bride, Betsy. Pray for peace. Pray for an absence of physical pain. Pray for prepared hearts for what is to come.

Mr. Dave's precious face should be the image next to the definition of "humble servant."

Quietly, he spearheaded the Upward Basketball program that transitioned into a long-term ministry to Native Americans. With no hoopla, he helped start a ministry to day laborers called Porque Tuve Hambre. Peanut butter sandwiches, chips, and water bottles wrapped in the love of Christ were delivered to hundreds of day laborers waiting for work on the streets of Mesa, Arizona.

Last week, we celebrated the ninth anniversary of our Hispanic congregation, Corazon de Mesa. Dave's hand print can be found in the foundation of that ministry due to his love for our Hispanic community.

Dave spent most of his life loving Jesus and loving "the least of these." Now, it's our turn to love on him.

After a rousing time of worship, Pastor Gary took us to Psalm 10, an anonymous psalm that many theologians attribute to David.

Have you ever asked a question to which you already know the answer? Or maybe it's one of those questions that has no answer. Sometimes, it just helps to get the question out there.

When Psalm 10 was written, the psalmist was having one of those kind of days. He had questions. He had frustrations. He had complaints.

See if his mindset is familiar to you.

Why, LORD, do you stand far off?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?

In his arrogance the wicked man hunts down the weak,
who are caught in the schemes he devises.
He boasts about the cravings of his heart;
he blesses the greedy and reviles the LORD.
In his pride the wicked man does not seek him;
in all his thoughts there is no room for God.
His ways are always prosperous;
your laws are rejected by him;
he sneers at all his enemies.
He says to himself, “Nothing will ever shake me.”
He swears, “No one will ever do me harm.”
His mouth is full of lies and threats;
trouble and evil are under his tongue.
He lies in wait near the villages;
from ambush he murders the innocent.
His eyes watch in secret for his victims;
like a lion in cover he lies in wait.
He lies in wait to catch the helpless;
he catches the helpless and drags them off in his net.
His victims are crushed, they collapse;
they fall under his strength.
He says to himself, “God will never notice;
he covers his face and never sees.”
Arise, LORD! Lift up your hand, O God.
Do not forget the helpless

Why does the wicked man revile God?
Why does he say to himself, “He won’t call me to account”?

But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted;
you consider their grief and take it in hand.
The victims commit themselves to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
Break the arm of the wicked man;
call the evildoer to account for his wickedness
that would not otherwise be found out.
The LORD is King for ever and ever;
the nations will perish from his land.
You, LORD, hear the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
so that mere earthly mortals
will never again strike terror.

In the midst of an evil world, the psalmist blurted out his questions.

Why do You stand far off, Lord?

Why do You hide when times are tough?

Why do the wicked get away with their disrespect of You?

Why don't you do something, Lord! Are You going to let them get away with their actions?

Just in case God hadn't already noticed, the psalmist "educates" Him about what was up.

Look at how the godless behave, God!

The godless parade their evil around for all to see. No shame. No attempt to hide it. Why should they bother to hide when evil is rewarded in this backward society?

In their pride, they feel no need to "frequent" Your presence. They have no idea how destitute they are without You.

They consider Your commands to be rules made to be broken, and they don't think You'll do a thing about it.

In their thoughts, there is no room for God.

No room for God. This point stomped on my toes. Non-believers aren't the only ones guilty of this one. I'm guilty. Some days, I get so bogged down in "life" that Christ doesn't cross my mind all day long. Oh, Lord, please forgive me for forgetting You when You are everything.

They crush their victims causing their collapse and downfall.

God, I know You will do something.

You see, God. You don't miss a thing.

You hold this world in Your hands.

You are the helper and defender of Your people.

Your ears are pricked to our cries for refuge from the wickedness..

You lift us up, giving us strength to stand strong with immovable spirits.

One day, time will be up and the godless will get their wish...an eternity without God.

What they consider to be God's apathy over their evil is really His compassion. He desires for none to die in their sin.

But He is a God of justice. One day, He will call us to account for how we lived our lives.

On that day, there are no more second chances. Only those who depend on Christ's sacrifice to get them there will make it to heaven.

The rest will spend eternity in hell. Yes, hell. That ugly word people like to believe is a fictional place.

Hell is a real place...a place of torment. A godless place for godless people.

If you are reading this post and you have never given your heart over to God, please don't delay any longer!

The ONLY WAY to go to heaven is through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

You can't get there by clocking public service hours or even church attendance hours.

You can't get there by being mostly good with just a few quirky personality traits.

None of us can get there by being good because none of us are good! Nothing short of perfection is worthy of heaven. As good as you may think you are, I'm sure you would never claim to be perfect.

The older I get, the more I am assaulted by my own imperfection. Without the perfect covering of Jesus Christ, I'd be hell-bound.

Only Jesus, people. Only Jesus can earn us a spot in heaven. He already reserved our spots by climbing up on that cross and dying for our sins.

When I was 13, I confirmed my reservation. I said, "Yes!" to Christ's invitation.

If you have never said "Yes," why not right now? Don't go another moment without the purposeful presence of Christ in your life!

Today can be Your new day!

Make room for God in your heart today.

Here's my brother, Paul's, testimony of what Christ has done in his life.

Sermon Note Sundays: Courageous Women Serving Women

2011-09-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

Women's ministry is not for the faint of heart. Praying courage over you today!

Lord,

It's hard to be a woman, and it's even harder to minister to such complex creatures. For my sisters in women's ministry, I pray for courage. Courage to lead, courage to lean, and courage to love.

Courage to lead like Deborah

As a judge for Israel, Deborah had the courage to do things Your way and speak Your truth. I can only imagine the turmoil she went through trying to get such an unruly nation to behave. There was little hope for Israel until Deborah “arose as a mother” for them. “March on with courage, my soul!” she sang out in trust. (Judges 5:7,21 NLT) Empower my sisters with the courage of Deborah to stand strong for You and to point others to the same victory.

Courage to lean like the Mary’s

If my sisters continue to stand up for You and Your ways, they will experience intense opposition from the evil one. He’s mad enough they are living free, but now they're trying to help others do the same? Oh, boy, I can feel the heat from his seething just thinking about it.

Lord, my sisters can’t withstand the evil one’s attacks on their own. When the opposition comes, give them the courage to lean hard on You.

I think of the virgin Mary pregnant with Christ. In order to be obedient to her God, she had to endure the shunning of her whole community. The whispers, the stares, the rejection. Oh, how it must have wounded her precious heart. Yet she trusted You. She had the courage to respond, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” In the midst of the most trying year of her young life, she had the courage and faith to sing:

“Oh, how my soul praises the Lord.

How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!

For he took notice of his lowly servant girl,

and from now on all generations will call me blessed.

For the Mighty One is holy,

and he has done great things for me.”

(Luke 1:38, 46-49 NLT)

I think of Mary, the sister of Lazarus and Martha, who sat at Your feet soaking in every drop of Your presence she could get. She knew the most important thing and let nothing get in the way of it, not even a critical sister. (Luke 10: 38-42) Later, when Lazarus died, she fell at Your feet in her grief and then stood amazed as Your raised her brother to back to life. (John 11) Shortly before Your death, Mary found herself at Your feet once more. Despite the insults of judgmental onlookers, she broke open her alabaster box of perfume and anointed You with both perfume and tears. (John 12)

It’s a beautiful thing to Your heart when Your girls lean on You. Remind my sisters of Your constant presence and availability to hold their hearts in Your hands.

Courage to love others like Ruth

Lord, You call us to not only love You with all our hearts but to love our neighbors as ourselves. Paul reminds us to “be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love.” (1 Corinthians 16:13-14 NLT)

I pray my sisters will have the courage to love with abandon just like Ruth loved Naomi. Out of sheer love for her grieving mother-in-law, she walked away from her culture, her home, and her family. She followed Naomi to a new land where she would be considered an outsider. It couldn’t have been easy to make that journey, but she did, and oh, how You used her act of love for Your glorious purposes! Her name is listed in the lineage of Christ, all because of her love.

Just as Your word never returns empty-handed, love never fails to hit its mark. (Isaiah 55:11; 1 Corinthians 13:8) May Your love flow freely from my sisters' hearts to everyone, even those who seem unwilling to receive nor return it.

I, for one, am a better person because of the godly influence of women's ministry leaders. Keep them ever leading, ever leaning, and ever loving. And may they do it all for Your glory and pleasure. All for You, Lord. All for You.

In the courageous name of Jesus I pray, AMEN

Sermon Note Sunday: Help, Lord!

2011-09-18T22:52:00.001-07:00

It was so good to be back "home" with my church family this week. As much as I relished my time in Texas at the Living Proof Live with Beth Moore conference with my in-laws, there's no place I'd rather be than in my home church, the Heart of Mesa.

The musical worship was a particularly moving set of songs...at least in my heart.

Songs of declaration about Who God is and all He can be in our lives.
Scripture songs pulled straight from the Psalms and the Epistles. (God loves to be quotes...I'm sure of it)

Paul Wiggins shared a song he wrote, and it blessed our socks off! Since I'm the offertory music coordinator, you can be sure I marched up to him after church and promptly signed him up to be on the regular rotation. Woot!

Pastor Gary took us to Psalm 12, a desperate plea from David about the condition of his world. See if it sounds applicable to our world today.

Help, LORD, for no one is faithful anymore;

those who are loyal have vanished from the human race.

Everyone lies to their neighbor;
they flatter with their lips
but harbor deception in their hearts.

May the LORD silence all flattering lips
and every boastful tongue—
those who say,
“By our tongues we will prevail;
our own lips will defend us—who is lord over us?”

“Because the poor are plundered and the needy groan,
I will now arise,” says the LORD.
“I will protect them from those who malign them.”
And the words of the LORD are flawless,
like silver purified in a crucible,
like gold refined seven times.

You, LORD, will keep the needy safe
and will protect us forever from the wicked,
who freely strut about
when what is vile is honored by the human race.

Sadly familiar, huh? You'd think David was writing about today.

I can so relate to the beginning of this psalm. I've found myself crying out for God's help a lot over the last few years. The older I get, the more aware of the ugliness in this godless world. Sometimes, the heaviness of the darkness can really get me down. How 'bout you?

David pours his heart out to the only One to whom he can turn: his God.

1. The Missing

Devoted Christians appear to be endangered of becoming extinct. People who once stood boldly for Christ have shrunk back. It's hard to find people who live simply to honor and please God.

Some are hiding in the closet, afraid to be atypical in a self-focused society. Soon, they begin to make little compromises. They allow the world to start seeping in slowly. Before they know it, they no long recognize themselves. Some even cross over to the other side and actively war against the Christian faith.

2. The Mouths of Men

"Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." (Matthew 12:34 NASB) It's easy to tell the condition of a society by what its people say.

David described the people of his time, and again, it sounds so much like today.

What ever happened to honesty, civility, and grace?

David's world (and our too) is full of falsehood, flattery and filth. People manipulate to get what they want. Backbiting should be an Olympic sport.

People have no consideration about how their words affect others. Words speak either life or death, and this world reeks of death.

3. The Movement of God

David knows God is the only One who can make heads or tails out of the condition of the world. As he asks God for help, God doesn't take it lying down.

"I will now arise," says the Lord.

Makes me think of Stephen in the New Testament. As he is stoned for standing up for Christ, he looks up to the heavens and see Jesus standing at the right hand of God.(Acts 7)

I wonder if Jesus stands anytime one of His devoted ones needs an extra measure of support.

Such a comforting thought.

Never fear, devoted Believers, when Jesus stands, He means business. He promises to sustain us and protect our spirits in the broken and perverse society.

His word is firm, flawless, and fierce. He can be fully trusted.

He doesn't promise to rescue us from this ugly world. He promises to keep us standing and shining. We're the only light to point people to the Light of the World. We have no time to waste.

4. The Momentum of the Ungodly

Things aren't going to get any better...in fact, it will just get worse.

Take heart, brothers and sisters, He will never leave us or forsake us. Greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world! We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength!

One day, it'll all be over and we'll be with Christ. In the meantime, let's be a lantern through which His light can shine.

Five Minute Fridays: Joy

2011-09-16T00:55:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I participated in a "Five Minute Friday" post hosted by Lisa-Jo from The Gypsy Mama blog.

Seems as if Fridays have been especially hectic for the ol' Leebird lately.

I'll give it a go this week in honor of a sister-in-Christ I've never hugged. Twitter introduced me to a modern-day Rapunzel named Sara, aka Gitzen Girl. Sara has a rare disease that has left her homebound and in almost constant pain. She hasn't left her condo in years. Social media has been her contact to the outside world, and boy has she made contact!

Despite her difficulties, Sara's life calling is to be God's JOY ambassador. "Choose Joy" is her song.

While many women her age are raising babies or building careers, Sara lies in her bed under hospice care. Soon, she will meet her precious Savior IEL (in eternal life). Very soon, Sara's joy will be complete. No more pain. No more restrictions. No more dreaming of what His face looks like. Soon, Sara will see Him as He is.

I, for one, am thankful God gifted me with Gitzen Girl on Twitter. The word "joy" will always remind me of her. Praying you home, dear one.

I hope you all will join me for this Five Minute Friday post on JOY. If you decide to be one of the cool people and join me, be sure to link your post up on Lisa-Jo's post. (I linked her earlier) Five minutes...no worries about grammar or spelling...just let your heart spill out on the screen and see what you and God come up with!

Here's my five minutes on JOY.

Breathing in the aroma of my bath bubbles, my heart crumbles.

My family is in crisis. Husband hurting and hopeless. Sons going their own way...a way that scares me and clinches at my momma heart. A home in chaos, and all I can do is cry in the tub.

I hear movement across the room. In the middle of his personal pain, my husband settles himself on the edge of the tub and bathes his bride. He scrubs down my achy back and massages cleansing cream onto my tired face. He washes my hair and rinses until every tangle is set free.

My tears flow unhindered now as he tries to dab them away with a purple scrunchy sponge.

With swollen eyes, I struggle to make eye contact with my man. "I love you, Sweetie. I'll have enough hope for both of us 'til you get yours back."

He smiles ever so slightly and replies, "No more tears, Sweetie. You do the joy."

Lord, the pain is deep but your joy is deeper. Like Gitzen Girl, may I choose joy and may that joy bring hope to my home once again.

(ok, ok, I took about seven minutes)

Pride in Disguise

2011-09-15T01:11:00.000-07:00

My eyeballs are exhausted.

If I'd known what a cruddy evening this would be, I think I would have gotten lost on the way home.

Hubby struggling + Son struggling + Depleted Budget + Messy House + Dog Using Dining Room Carpet as Outhouse = Defeated LeeBird

I don't know about you, but when bad things happen in my family, my first response is to blame myself.

My hubby's struggling because I don't give him enough support.

My son made a poor choice because I haven't been a good enough example.

The budget is shot because I spent too much at the grocery store.

The house is a wreck because I'm too lazy to clean it up.

Riff poops in the house because I didn't train him very well.

I'm defeated because I deserve to be defeated.

Tonight, as I tried to soak away my sorrows in a bubble bath, the Lord whispered a gentle admonition into my heart.

Oh LeeBird, why do you think everything's about you? Your tendency to blame yourself is nothing but pride in disguise.

He's right, of course.

When I place blame on myself for everything that goes wrong, I am pretty much saying that I'm more powerful and important than God.

And isn't that what pride is?

Dictionary.com defines pride as "a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc."

While my choices can influence the quality of my family's life, I am not the cornerstone of my home.

I'm just LeeBird. Sometimes I soar, and sometimes I stumble.

My God is bigger than my piddly influence.

He is greater than my brightest moment.

His grace trumps my best efforts and my bitter failures.

I will never be the perfect wife, mom, and home manager.

And you know what? No one expects me to be.

My husband's happiness and contentment is not on me. Nor are my sons' reputations.

All I can do is let God do His thing in me so that I can love my family His way.

Lord,

Help me to get my focus off myself and onto You. You are all my family needs. Use me how You will, and get my stubborn pride out of the way. Forgive me for being so self-focused. Forgive me for using my family's struggles to get myself some extra attention. I've had quite enough. Your glory and Your fame alone.

Here's a Story of my Beth Moore Weekend

2011-09-13T00:35:00.000-07:00

Today, I spent some time analyzing the word, "expect" with my special education students.

They helped me come up with the definition, "to believe something will happen."

I wrote some different forms of the word on the board: expect, expected, expecting, expectations.

Then I told them this little story.

This weekend, I attended a conference led by my all-time favorite writer/speaker, a lady named Beth Moore.

I went to the conference expecting to learn a lot, to hear some beautiful music, and to enjoy time with my family.
But the experience exceeded my expectations. You see, before I went to the conference, I shared a funny story on my blog about the last time I attended one of Beth Moore's conferences. [You can read the story here]

I sent the blog post to Beth Moore hoping she'd read it and get a laugh. I never expected to receive a tweet from her saying she read the post and enjoyed it.

On Saturday, the conference was amazing, just as I expected! The music made my heart soar and my toes tap. Beth Moore's message was encouraging and challenging.

Then, in the last hour of the conference, something happened I was not expecting. Beth used my funny story in her message! I couldn't stop smiling because of such an unexpected surprise!

After the conference, we went to dinner at a local restaurant. My family and I sat around the table enjoying delicious food and sweet conversation, just as we expected.

As we got up to leave the restaurant, we discovered Beth Moore and her group sitting out on the patio at the very same restaurant! How unexpected!

I introduced myself as Lee, the funny story person. We were able to visit with her a bit and pose for a picture with her.

Me, Beth (tee hee hee), Mother-in-love Bessie, Sister-in-love Shelia

My Beth Moore weekend turned out to be far above and beyond my expectations!

And Mrs. Merrill lived happily ever after and her family now thinks she's a cool chick with connections.

The End...or is it?

Stay tuned...this week, you can expect to hear all about what God had to say through His sweet servant, Beth.

Sermon Note Sunday: Where was God on 9/11?

2011-09-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

On this day of reflection about the life-altering events from 10 years ago, I sit in the Dallas Love Field airport people watching.

Sports teams traveling home from tournaments. Gray-haired sojourners requiring assistance. Army soldiers in fatigues applauded by the whole plane-full of passengers. A blonde-haired girl with an American flag waving proudly from her Funky Monkey backpack.

With my “We Remember” sticker over my heart, I just saw a group of Muslims settle down at the same gate as me…the identifying feature being the covered heads of the women.

I wonder how many wary stares they will receive today.

How many snide comments?

How many cold shoulders?

I pray none.

I pray they’ll receive kindness, understanding, and grace…the same treatment I wish to receive.

My journal sits beside me scrawled with pages and pages of notes I took at Living Proof Live, Beth Moore’s conference.

But today I want to share the notes I scribbled down this morning while sitting in a padded pew at the First Baptist Church of Lamesa, Texas. After all, this is my sermon note Sunday post!

I don’t get the opportunity to worship at other churches very often. I’m thankful the same God I worship on Stapley Drive in Mesa, Arizona, is alive and well everywhere.

I enjoyed the patriotic service so carefully prepared by the FBC staff. The choir wore their red, white, and blue and sang “This is America.” The music minister shared a beautiful ballad written about 9/11.

The worship songs were familiar to my worshiper’s heart, but with some West Texas flavor. So sweet to worship with another group of Believers, different but so much the same.

Personnel from public safety and security agencies were honored with plaques and promised prayer support.

Police, fire fighters, EMTs, E.R. staff, the Armed Forces. I hope they know how much they’re appreciated and needed.

The pastor preached a stirring sermon that gave me lots to think about. As much as I adore sitting under the teaching of my beloved Pastor Gary, I appreciated this pastor’s perspective.

He shared his memory of that fateful day, 10 years ago. It sounded much like mine. Ten years ago, I was a stay-at-home mom to three sons. Garrett was seven, Logan was five, and Jacob was almost two.

Not the norm for me, I turned on the Today show as I was readying Garrett and Logan for school. Looking back, I feel mixed emotions about turning on that television that morning. I saw the second plane hit the tower, and I saw both towers fall. I remember standing in my bedroom staring in unbelief while my boys sauntered around the house unattended. I felt frozen to the spot as I tried to figure out what in the heck was going on.

I considered keeping the boys home but decided against it. I tore myself away from the tv long enough to run Garrett and Logan to school and then rushed home to stare blankly at the screen all day long.

I remember calling my best friend,, Kristy to wish her a happy birthday because I desperately needed to focus on something good for just a moment.

September 11, 2001 was a turning point in America.

The pastor, today, posed the question, “Where have you seen the hand of God since 9/11?

He took us to Exodus 14:19-31 where the Israelites crossed the Red Sea to be delivered from the bondage of the Egyptians.

The parting and crossing of the Red Sea and the subsequent emancipation of the Israelites from the hand of Egypt was a defining moment for the nation of Israel.

In the chaos, the powerful hand of God was present.

The Israelites didn’t truly understand the presence of God until after they crossed that Red Sea. They experienced his strong hand parting those waters and his breath drying the sea bottom to give them a dry path to freedom. They watched in horror and awe as the Egyptians pursued them in vain and met their fate in the depths of the replaced sea. God’s presence was with them in a cloud by day and fire by night.

Where was God on 9/11?

He was where His church was.

He was on His knees at prayer vigils.

He was at the blood bank giving blood.

He was at Ground Zero binding wounds and searching through the rubble.

The power of God was not seen in the destruction of buildings and the loss of lives. It was seen in the compassionate, loving action of His people.

God’s power is shown when God’s people behave like the people of God…when they set their own agendas aside and let the Spirit have complete control and leadership.

The pastor took us to the passage about the unforgiving servant. The servant was extravagantly forgiven of a massive debt and then he turned around and refused to forgive the minor debt of a fellow servant. The parable expressed the conditions God places on His forgiveness.

If we refuse to forgive others, we should not count on God to pardon us.

Jesus was the epitome of forgiveness when He hung on the cross and said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.”

A few months ago, the news announced the death of Osama bin Laden, the terrorist mind behind the 9/11 attacks.

The pastor shared his response to the news. At first, he felt national pride well up in his heart, but quickly, he felt the Lord chiding him for such a response.

A man in desperate need of grace was dead, his chance for forgiveness lost forever.

I read a powerful statement on the Grit and Glory blog today.

“If there isn't enough grace for Osama, there isn't enough grace for me.”

Jesus died for Osama bin Laden. Jesus died for the terrorist pilots who crashed those planes into the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and that field in Pennsylvania.

Should Believers rejoice over the death of anyone? Really?

We must temper our pride and desire for revenge. We are Christians first and Americans second.

Like Jesus, we are called to say, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.”

We must reach for the cross first and then the flag.

As Believers, what are we to do during calamitous times?

Slow down our furied minds and emotions and inquire of the Lord.

Reach out in loving compassion to the hurting and extravagant forgiveness to the perpetrators.

Pray to see the presence of God in the fires and the clouds of life.

Dear Beth,

2011-09-07T23:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Beth,

Friday morning, I'm jetting off to Lubbock, Texas, to hear God's heart through your Southern drawl.

Pretty ironic that I'm switching planes in Las Vegas, a gambler's paradise because there's nothing risky about sitting under your teaching. You know it all comes from Jesus and you get your adorable self out of the way and let Him do His thing. Thank you for that.

I'm not just excited about attending Living Proof Live. I'm thrilled over the company I'll be keeping: my mother-in-love, two sisters-in-love, and two nieces.

Last time we saw you was several years ago when you came to my neck of the woods, Phoenix.

My "in-loves" and I holed up in a downtown hotel room and had a big old time learning how to believe God.

Friday evening, I took a hot shower before bed. The steamy mirror was a perfect spot to journal my heart's response to your teaching points.

Next morning, my mother-in-love was the first one up and in the bathroom. When she stepped out of the shower, she took one look at the mirror and shrieked for us to get in there.

Turns out, my journaling from the night before magically reappeared on the mirror. For a minute, she thought she was looking at the proverbial "writing on the wall." Oh my goodness, it was a hoot!

No telling what'll happen when the Merrill chicks get together.

Oh, Beth, I can't fully express how much I need this weekend.

I need to step away from my day-to-day routine and get refocused, refreshed, and renewed.

Refocused on who God is and who I am because I'm His.

Refreshed by grace rain drenching my thirsty soul.

Renewed to return home full of fiery faith that will spread through my home, my church, my neighborhood, and my workplace.

Beth, no worries. I'm not depending on you to make it happen.

You're wonderful, but you're just a girl like me.

I'm depending on Him to sing to my soul.

I'm trusting Him to step on my toes.

I'm begging Him to renew my strength.

Lord,

Prepare our hearts to worship with our voices and our lives.

Prepare our minds to change from our ways to Yours.

Prepare our spirits to respond to Your healing, Your instruction, and Your love.

All for Your glory and fame, AMEN

PrayerGift Mondays: The Wisdom of the W.A.I.T.

2011-09-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

Wait is a four-letter word in this culture.
I see it in the grocery store with express lanes and convenience foods.

I see it on commercials advertising the latest and fastest technological advances.

I see it in church every Sunday when my pastor worries about preaching too long because he'll get a complaint from someone who had to wait an extra 10 minutes in the line at the buffet.

While I'd love to say I'm better at waiting than others, the older I get, the more antsy I become.

I'm one of those foot waggers...know what I mean? If I have to sit still for more than a few minutes, my foot starts bouncing like a puppy dog getting his belly scratched. Then I start doodling and day dreaming. Why? I can't just "be." I can't just let things happen in their time.

Please tell me I'm not the only one.

This prayergift is all about the waiting. It's a prayer for me and for any of you who find your heart's foot wagging.

Lord,

It's hard to wait. Waiting for wounds to heal. Waiting for dreams to be realized. Waiting for restoration. Waiting for prayers to be answered.

Your timing can be downright frustrating to a girl like me. A girl who can't seem to settle her soul into the wisdom of the wait.

Widen my perspective.

I can be so narrow in my scope, Lord. Open my eyes to understand Your plan, Your purposes, and Your perfect mind.

"Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." (Psalm 25:4-5)

Help me to remember Your constant faithfulness, for You are righteous in all Your ways and faithful in all You do. (Psalm 145:17)

"I will proclaim the name of the LORD. Oh, praise the greatness of [my]God! [You are my] Rock, [Your] works are perfect, and all [Your] ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just [are You]." (Deuteronomy 32:3-4)

"[You foil] the plans of the nations; [You thwart] the purposes of the peoples. But [Your plans] stand firm forever, the purposes of [Your] heart through all generations. Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people [You] chose for [Your] inheritance." (Psalm 33:10-12)

Help me to "listen to advice and accept discipline, [so]at the end [I] will be counted among the wise. Many are the plans in [my] heart, but it is [Your] purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:20-21)

Adapt my perception.

Lord, my mind is cluttered with lies and flawed thinking. Change my mind, Lord. Give me the mind of Christ so I can perceive Your plan. (1 Corinthians 2:16)

[You are] not human, that [You] should lie, not a human being, that [You] should change [Your] mind. [Do You] speak and then not act? [Do You] promise and not fulfill? (Numbers 23:19)

The evil one would have me believe You don't care about my quavering heart. He wants me to rustle up my own brand of wisdom, not the wisdom of waiting on You. Whisper to my heart, Lord. Yell if You must. "Wait [on Me]; be strong and take heart and wait! I am your help and shield. Be still before [Me] and wait patiently for [Me;] do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." (Psalm 27:14; 33:20; 37:7)

Improve my patience.

I've always heard to never pray for patience because You are sure to answer with lots of practice. But I know patience is what I need. Silence my sighs. Stop my rolling eyes. Settle my jittery soul.

I want to be able to declare this powerful passage with confidence and truth.

"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him." (Psalm 40:1-3)

Tame my pushiness.

Why do I always think my way is THE way? Change my heart O, God! When I push and shove my own agenda, I miss out on Your perfect plan! I don't want to settle, Lord. I don't want my way. I want Your way!

I choose to "trust [You] with all [my] heart and lean not on [my] own [flawed] understanding; in all [my] ways [I will] submit to [You], [for You promise to] make [my] paths straight. [I will] not be wise in [my] own eyes; [I will revere You] and shun evil. (Proverbs 3:5-7)

Help me to submit to You and resist the urging of the evil one. The quarreling and fighting within me is nothing but my own sin nature waging war and wanting its way. Give me the strength to say "NO" to me and "YES" to You. (James 4)

Lord, the wisdom of the wait is all about putting You first. It's all about denying self. It's all about trust. Help me to wait well.

Sermon Note Sundays: Unfaithful

2011-09-04T18:06:00.000-07:00

I joined my early service brothers and sisters for worship this morning. A comfort to my heart it was.

They may not be as loud and perky as the late service, but their love for God and each other is deep and strong.

Tom led us in all four verses of several of the old hymns. Since Jesus Came into My Heart was my favorite.

We gathered in the middle aisle to hold hands and pray.

For the family of Vera Maus, one of our sweetest older ladies who went to be with Jesus this week.

For the ministries in our church reaching out with the arms and heart of Jesus.

For Jim who just had surgery.

Suddenly, there was a slight commotion. I opened my eyes to see a gentleman dart across the circle to catch one of our senior ladies who had passed out.

He reached her just before she would have fallen hard to the floor. He held her up while others cleared the way for him to lay her down on the pew.

Turns out, Esther passed out from not eating. Please pray she gets her appetite back because she is dangerously thin and weak. The paramedics came and took her in for observation.

I can't forget the vision of that gentleman holding Esther up, his teenaged son looking on. Such a beautiful picture of how God wants His people to care for each other.

Let's keep our eyes open for opportunities to hold others up when the journey gets to be too much.

The late service had no chivalrous rescues, but we had a wonderful time lifting up the name of Jesus.

Pastor Gary was out today, so Pastor David Kaczmarski brought a message to us. This was my first opportunity to hear him preach, and I'm VERY glad I didn't miss out! He took us to the book of Hosea, a powerful picture of God's heart toward Israel.

While the book of Amos comes after Hosea in the Bible, the events of Amos actually preceded those in Hosea.

In Amos, the prophet declares God's condemnation on all of Israel's neighbors. I can only imagine the smug satisfaction the Israelites displayed while Amos spoke of God's wrath toward neighbors from all directions.

But then, the tables turned. The raucous agreement with God's plans for the godless neighbors quickly turned to grave silence as Amos spoke the same condemnation on Israel.

Do what is good and run from evil so that you may live! Then the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies will be your helper, just as you have claimed. Hate evil and love what is good; turn your courts into true halls of justice. Perhaps even yet the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies will have mercy on the remnant of his people.

Therefore, this is what the Lord, the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies, says: “There will be crying in all the public squares and mourning in every street.
Call for the farmers to weep with you, and summon professional mourners to wail. There will be wailing in every vineyard, for I will destroy them all,” says the Lord. (Amos 5: 14-17 NLT)

For ten years, the Israelites were unrepentant. Yes, they may have straightened up at first, but when God's wrath didn't come, they continued in their sinful ways. They grossly misinterpreted God's patience for apathy or unconcern.

God brought a new prophet into their midst. Hosea would share God's message to the people not only with his words but with his life.

Do you realize that you are always on display?

Whether we like it or not, the world makes judgements about who God is by watching His people. It's up to us if we will be strong representatives or weak ones. Be assured, the evil one will be sure to use our weak moments as a sideshow for his evil plans. Let's give him some unexpected twists in the plot by honoring God even in our weakest moments. I love the thought of making him hopping mad, the jerk!

Now, back to Hosea.

When the Lord first began speaking to Israel through Hosea, he said to him, “Go and marry a prostitute,so that some of her children will be conceived in prostitution. This will illustrate how Israel has acted like a prostitute by turning against the Lord and worshiping other gods.” (Hosea 1:1 NLT)

Hosea obeyed the Lord and married a woman named Gomer. As much as Hosea was focused on God's ways, Gomer was caught up in the ways of the world. She was unfaithful from the get-go. She had babies with other men, and God had Hosea name each one a particular name.

The first son was named Jezreel because God would punish Israel for sins they committed in the Jezreel Valley.

Next came a daughter named Lo-ruhamah, which means "not loved." He chose this name to declare to Israel that he would transfer his love and devotion to the kingdom of Judah because Israel refused to repent from their sins.

Then came another son named "Lo-ammi—‘Not my people’—for Israel is not my people, and I am not their God." (Amos 1:9 NLT)

Soon, Gomer left Hosea and her children and went to live in the arms of another man. The people watched at Hosea dealt with this personal heartbreak.

Like Gomer, Israel had other lovers. As much as God adored them, they strayed from His arms again and again.

Such is the nature of sin. Sin is turning from finding joy and fulfillment in God to trying to find them somewhere else.

Sin is unfaithfulness to God, an act of the heart.

Who has your heart?

There's no middle ground. Either we give our hearts to God or to the world.

Sin has an uncanny way of promising us the best and delivering the worst.

Ask Gomer. She thought she was choosing a life of pleasure, but she received a life of slavery. As she stood on the auction block, broken and alone, God told Hosea to buy her back.

He spent all he had to redeem the woman who cheated on him, dishonored him, and broke his heart.

Doesn't that sound like Jesus? He gave His last drop of life blood to redeem you, to redeem me, to redeem all mankind.

Despite our deplorable condition, He finds us priceless. He takes our hand and leads us out of bondage into His palace. He heals our wounds and dresses us in clean clothes. He pays our debts and marks them "paid-in-full." He gives us a new start, a new life, and a new heart.

What have you done with the love God has given you? Are you demonstrating your gratitude through a life that honors God? Or are you slipping out on Him to have rendezvous with the world.

I, for one, am guilty of unfaithfulness to my Husband, not Cliff, but Christ.

I snuggle up in His arms and stay close to His heart for a while, but soon, I get a hankering for the world and sneak out for a swim in Pride Pool or a meal at Glutton Cafe. I catch a show at Anxiety Arena or a spa day at Accolade Acres.

When will I learn that the answer to every question is Jesus? When will I repay His kindness with an undivided heart.

It's easy to be hard on the Israelites for being such a pain in God's tail, but we are just like them.

And He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

Lord, forgive us for our unfaithfulness...for prostituting our hearts to this world. "Teach [us]your way, LORD, that [we]may rely on your faithfulness; give [us] undivided heart[s], that [we]may fear your name. [We]will praise you, Lord [our] God, with all [our]heart; [we]will glorify your name forever." (Psalm 86:11-12 NLT)

While You Were Sleeping

2011-09-03T00:00:00.001-07:00

Dear Dad,

It's your 80th birthday, sweet daddy of mine. I can't remember the last time we were able to celebrate a birthday together.

In my mind, I picture you sleeping in your nursing home bed oblivious to the specialness of this day.

Now that I think about it, you'd be oblivious to the specialness of this day even if you were up, around, and sharp as a tack. You never thought your birthday was a big deal.

But I do.

Dad's first and last visit to Arizona.

For 80 years the big heart of Billy Ray Walker has beaten a rhythm of love and loyalty, of music and mischief, and of humor and hard work.

For close to a decade, you've slept your life away.

I've watched your calloused hands soften, your muscles atrophy and your farmer's tan fade.

Holdin' hands with my dad

A lot has happened while you were sleeping.

Your grandchildren have grown into fine human beings.

You'd be so proud of what a wonderful mom Cindy is to Chase.

Cindy and Chase at Mardi Gras

Clint is out of school and working hard. He loves to be outside and isn't afraid to get dirty to get the job done. He had to grow up fast when he became a dad and even faster when his baby boy passed away from a sudden illness.

Clint and his girlfriend

Matt is engaged to a beautiful girl we all adore, and he's almost done with school. He has his own business, Dad! He reminds me so much of Buddy...and you.

Matt and Shields just after he popped the question

Garrett is a senior and ready to venture out on his own. He wants to be a movie producer and an entrepreneur. He always has a new idea swirling in his intelligent mind.

Garrett and me on his 17th b'day

Logan lives and breathes music and girls. I doubt you'd take too kindly to some of his music choices, but I think you'd like his taste in girls. He's one of the most tender-hearted, sweet people I know. I'm glad we gave him "Walker" for a middle name.

Logan: Girls and little kids adore him

Jacob, my baby, is like I was when I was a girl, full of words. He gets in trouble for talking just like I did. I regret you didn't get a chance to know him better, Dad. He's funny, smart, and creative, and he'd find all kinds of new uses for your spare tractor parts.

Jake showing his mad duct tape skills

I don't know about Katie, Dad. We haven't heard from JoAnn for a long time.

Katie with her big ol' daddy, Dean

Dad...you don't know this, but while you were sleeping, Dean died.

He fell asleep on his couch watching a cowboy movie and never woke up. I like to think one of his last thoughts was of his cowboy dad.

I'm glad you slept through that one, Dad, because losing your boy would have broken your heart just like it broke Mom's.

Dad with Dean and Buddy

After losing Dean in February, 2008, we weren't prepared to lose Uncle Joe in June, but we did. He fought cancer long and hard.

Karla, Dean, Aunt Venia, little Katie, and Uncle Joe

Then, in October, Buddy was diagnosed with cancer. He lasted nine months before God took him to heaven.

Dad on Christmas with Buddy cutting up in the background.

All that loss could have broken our family down, Dad, but it didn't.

We are stronger than ever. We love each other even more. We don't take life for granted because we know everything could change in an instant.

Once we let the grief run its course, the sun started shining on us again.

God brought Bubba Smith back into Karla's life. Remember him, Dad? He worked many a hot Saturday afternoon helping you mow pastures, work on tractors, and haul top soil.

Bubba and Karla on their wedding day, March 2009

Oh, Dad, he treats Karla like a queen. It thrills me to see them so happy together. He and Matt get along just fine. I think it's a comfort to Matt for Karla to have a good man to spend her life with.

I'm still your darlin', Dad. I've had some low times dealing with depression, but God used it to create a new heart in me. I'm fully convinced that I'm not just your darlin', but my Heavenly Father's darlin', too.

A teen-age me with my dad

I'm teaching at a junior high school, and I know you won't believe this, but I can actually teach math! I'm not a mathematical lost cause after all!! Every time I get a math skill to sink into a struggling kid's head, I think about how proud my math teacher daddy would be of me.

Dad, I miss you so much. I can't count all the times I've wanted to pick up the phone and call you for advice or just to hear your voice. Rest assured, Cliff is always there for me. We've been by each other's side through a million wonderful moments and a handful of horrific ones. My hand still fits perfectly in his. He treats your baby girl very well.

Cliff and me. I am so blessed.

I'll try to come see you in October when I have a school break. Do you think that, just maybe, you could wake up and sing with me? Can you call your girls by name? Can you remember us, just a little?

Know that whether you know us or not, we know you. While you are sleeping, our love for you remains deep and strong.

Happy birthday, Dad.

Love,

Five Minute Friday: REST

2011-09-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

As much as I've whined and complained about this l-o-n-g week, it really has gone by quickly. (Thank the LORD!)

My efforts to improve my classroom management paid off. The Read 180 lady showed up yesterday unannounced, and my students didn't embarass me. She had a few suggestions to help me monitor my independent readers, but other than that, she gave me rave reviews. Whew! Double Whew!

This much anticipated Labor Day weekend will be spent resting and catching up on housework. I. Can't. Wait.

The Gypsy Mama must be picking up my vibes because she chose "REST" as the key word for this week's Five Minute Friday.

I know I'm not the only one in need of some sweet rest this weekend. Why don't you take five minutes and let your thought spill onto the screen. Five minutes with no worry about making your thoughts all spiffy. Just let your mind wander on the thought of rest.

Link your post up on Lisa-Jo's post. Take a peek at the thoughts of others and give them some encouragement.

Ok...here's my post on a beautiful concept called REST. Ready, set, go!

REST

I almost fell asleep driving home from work today.

I let one eye close for a bit and then switched to the other. By the time my lil' Buick rolled into the driveway, it was all I could do to muster the strength to climb the stairs and fall into bed for a 20 minute power nap before worship team practice.

Rest sounds wonderful.

This weekend, ironically called LABOR DAY weekend, will be all about rest.

I'll sleep in and take naps.

I'll read and reflect.

I'll settle my soul into the arms of my Savior and let Him fill my empty cup.

Managing

2011-08-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

Labor Day weekend is almost here, and I can't even begin to explain my elation.

I am worn slap out!

As a junior high special education teacher, I have to be "on" all day long. Junior high kids can sniff out the slightest chink in a teacher's armor faster than my mom can say "clearance sale."

Classroom and student management skills is a must. Unfortunately, my skills are more like a maybe.

I have many strengths as a teacher, but making kids mind is not one of them.

You see, I get so focused on helping Bobbie Sue understand what she's reading that I pretty much tune out Frankie May, Jimmy Ray, and Sally Ann who are duct taping Billy Bob to his chair.

That's why I went into special education to begin with. I like working with students one-on-one or in small groups to I can find out how they learn best and to give them the best opportunity to learn.

Imagine me in a room with 22 special ed kids, more than half of them with ADHD. It's not pretty friends. Not pretty at all.

Sometime in September, the head honcho lady from the district is coming to observe me teach this very class. It's a Read 180 class where I'm using a state-of-the-art computer-based program that cost the district a ton of cash, so they have to make sure I'm utilizing their precious resources to the fullest.

Can you hear my knees knocking right now?

I've been trying to train my little sweat hogs since day one of the school year.

Enter the room quietly.

Get an R-book, your reading journal, and a pencil.

Sit down and shut your pie hole. (Just kidding on the pie hole part)

After that class is over, about half of them do with me to my next class where they continue "forgetting" what they're supposed to be doing.

The classroom isn't the only place where my management weaknesses glare at me.

See if any of these "departments" cause you some trouble.

Managing clutter
Managing my home
Managing my weight
Managing my emotions

Most days, I feel as if I'm just managing to keep my head above water.

I'm tired of treading water.

I want to walk on it!

I want to lay my head on the pillow at night feeling tired but pleased over how the day went.

I want to wake up in the morning with expectancy not sighs.

So, what can I do to change things?

How can I develop routines and procedures that work for me?

1. Pray for wisdom:

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. (James 1:5-8 MSG)

2. Change one small thing:

I can't transform into manager of the year overnight. In fact, I'll probably never be manager of the year. But I can make small adjustments that could make a huge difference.

Here are a few ideas that have come to me just tonight.

For my classroom: Get the rules and procedures posted on the wall and practice them over and over until the little precious darlins can do it in their sleep. A few class periods of torturous procedure practicing very well may do the trick.

For my home: Focus on a different household task each day and enlist the free labor of three handsome sons. If the house is not in order on Friday mornings, no one with partake in any social activities until chores are completed.

For the clutter: Purge, purge, purge and make the guys do the same.

For my weight: Get this post online and get my tail out the door for my three mile walk.

For my emotions: Measure every thought against truth.

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. (Philippians 4:8-9 MSG)

3. Pray some more.

Lord, you made me a lover not a manager, but i know the best way to show love to my family, my students, and myself is to manage my time and resources well. I need help, Lord. Please give me wisdom in how to make small steps toward big improvements. And Lord...please help my students be extra nice when the lady comes to observe. That would be a really wonderful grace gift! Ever wanting to please You and honor You in all I do, AMEN

PrayerGift Mondays: When You Don't Know What's Wrong

2011-08-29T00:00:00.001-07:00

My beautiful friend is hurting.

As I stood on the platform singing on the worship team, I spied her weeping on the front row. A sister-in-Christ stood behind her, rubbing her back and whispering prayers over her. Her young son, with his head resting in her lap, kept reaching up to wipe away his mommy's tears.

After the service, one of our sweetest deacons gave her a warm, fatherly hug.

Others reached out as well.

I don't know what's wrong, and I'm not sure she does either. She just knows she needs a touch from God. She needs to be made well. Whole.

Ever been there?

You don't know what's wrong, just that something is and you're not prepared to live with it any more.

I've been there.

It's what I call a milestone moment. A crossroads.

If you are at a crossroads in your life trying to decide if you're ready to take steps toward wholeness, this prayergift is for you.

Lord,

You see her.

I know it.

You see her tears, and, although she's not sure what they're all about, You know the whole story.

You know the exact moment her heart received its first fracture.

Hearts are like car windshields.

At first, her heart received a seemingly harmless ding.

Yes, the chip was annoying and slightly inconvenient, but it didn't stop her from living life as usual.

But then it started to spread. What used to be a tiny distortion on the windshield of her life is now a huge crack she can't see around. It's not safe to be on the road with a crack that size. One more pebble or a really hot day could cause it to shatter.

It's time for a full replacement.

That's where the analogy ends. Windshields can be replaced in less than an hour, but new hearts take time.

Lord, my friend doesn't know what to do. She doesn't even really know exactly what's wrong. She just knows You hold the key to her wholeness.

As much as my heart aches for my hurting friend, I am also filled with anticipation over what You're up to in her life.

May she hear you say to her soul: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." Jeremiah 6:16 NIV

Illuminate her next step.

Lord, it's human nature for us to desire to see the whole picture. We want to know the ending before we begin. We don't like to be kept in the dark.

For my sister, I ask You to shed Your light on the next step You want her to take. May she see You standing there with an adoring smile on Your face. "Come on, Sweetheart. Hold my hand and we'll do this thing together."

Infuse her with the courage to say, "Whatever it takes."

When I was at my crossroads, a dear friend challenged me to pray, "Whatever it takes, Lord." Never have I prayed a more powerful and painful prayer. You brought me through many a fiery trial to make me whole. In fact, You are still at work in me, even now.

Though "whatever it takes" is sometimes painful and downright hard, the end result is so worth it. Give my sister the strength to throw up her hands and say, "Do whatever it takes to make me whole."

Invite others into her healing journey.

You never meant for us to do life on our own. I pray You will provide my sister with a support system of people willing to be in the trenches with her as long as it takes. To love her. To pray for her. To cry with her. To rejoice with her. To just be there for her.

Equip loved ones with the compassion, patience, and sensitivity she will need as she does the hard work of wholeness.

May her supporters be willing to make sacrifices to see her soar, and may she have the humility she needs to let people love her that way.

Lord, meet my sister right where she is. Hold her fragile heart in Your hands and do what only You can do in her life.

I rejoice in advance for all You will do in and through my sister as she takes her first steps down the Road to Wholeness.

In Jesus' Name I pray, AMEN