Confessions of a Facebook Farmer

Facebook is quite the phenomenon, isn't it?

Since signing on a couple of years ago, Facebook has been instrumental in:

• Reconnecting me with a few hundred old friends from various seasons of my past


• Allowing me to celebrate with my high school geometry teacher when she became a grandma for the first time


• Giving me the pleasure of posting 80's hairstyle pictures of my youth group pals


• Providing my husband with an outlet for all of his random facts and quirky sayings (if you need to be entertained, add my hubby Cliff Merrill as a friend...just tell him Lee sent ya)


• Challenging my mind with a plethora of ridiculous quizzes such as "What Color is Your Heart?" and "What 70's TV Character Are You?" (pink and Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island)

Those are just a handful of some benefits (and some time wasters) Facebook has brought into my life.

Recently, I started receiving notifications that people were "helping out on my farm."

I thought to myself, How in the world can people help out on a farm that doesn't exist? I will never have a farm. I don't have time for such trivialities!

Well, my mischievious middle son, Logan, bashfully admitted that he sort of created a farm on my behalf so he could add me as a neighbor.

Then, while working a puzzle with my BFF Michelle, I listened as she and Logan bantered on and on about their farms and how they harvested pumpkins, had 20 cows, and got a jack-o-lantern as a gift.

I kept my eyes glued to the puzzle pieces trying hard not to be curious.

Later that evening, I couldn't stop myself from checking out my farm Logan created. When I clicked on the application, I was both annoyed and disturbed by the sight.

On my own virtual plot of land, there were four little plowed squares of withered plants...no animals, no trees lush with fruit.

Immediately, as if some power overtook me, I plowed those withered plants and planted a brand-new crop of soybeans.

Glancing at my notifications, I discovered I had a dozen or more Farmville gifts including a few cows and horses, a small grove of trees, and a few pieces of whitewashed fence.

Before I could say, Old McDonald, I had a sweet little farm set up with sprouting soybeans and a menagerie of animals resting in the shade of apple trees.

In about a month's time, I have expanded my farm twice and now have a huge crop of pineapple growing next to my dairy farm with everything surrounded by a variety of fruit-bearing trees. I have horses, cows, sheep, goats, rabbits, turtles, ducks, and chickens.

Since I always root for the underdog, I'm the proud owner of a black sheep and used to have an ugly duckling until it turned into a swan. (I sold the swan to buy cotton seed)

For those of you who have a farm on Facebook, I can feel you nodding in admiration of my advancements as a farmer. You are probably wondering how many ribbons I've earned for planting eggplant and if I have a tractor, planter, and harvester yet.

Those of you who don't have a farm are probably thinking the same way I thought in my pre-farm days. Why in the world would any sane person waste time on a virtual farm when there are many vital life tasks to perform in a day's time?

I asked myself that very question this week as I harvested watermelon and milked my cows while surrounded by dirty laundry and unpaid bills.

Why do I spend a good half hour a day on my virtual farm?

• On my farm, there are no surprises. If rabid raccoons try to eat my crops, one of my Farmville friends will chase them away and I'll be none the wiser.
• In the real world, it seems I'm constantly bombarded by unexpected jabs by insensitive people, and unplanned expenses I have to finance.
• On my farm, the sun is always shining, and my virtual self is always smiling.
• In the real world, the mood swings from my depression drag me from sunshine to monsoons in a moment's notice. My emotions cause my husband and children to walk on eggshells and wonder where their happy wife and momma have gone.
• On my farm, the crop rows are as straight as a pin and my animals are carefully arranged in the pens.
• In the real world, my house is in a constant state of disarray, my boys are habitual slobs, and my dog still hasn't completelyl mastered the idea of pooping outside.
• On my farm, my virtual self is always full of energy, ready to work hard and be productive, and flushed with a sense of purpose.
• In the real world, I have trouble getting out of bed some mornings, I have a tendency to be lazy, and I often wonder if I'll ever be the person God intended me to be.
  

Why do I have a farm? I think you can figure it out.

Weight Loss Wednesday (a.k.a. Weight Gain Wednesday)

Well, I gained a pound. Grr.



While I'm making some really positive changes with the exercising, I'm struggling with my eating.

I flat out like to eat. I eat too much, and I eat too much of the fattening stuff.

Sigh.

I have a decision to make, and I need your input on what I should do. Did you hear that? I'm asking for advice. Please give freely.



Several staff members at my school are trying to get a Weight Watchers group started. They still need a few more people to sign up in order to get enough people to start up.



I've done Weight Watchers before, so I know how it works. The diet plan is reasonable, but I've never done really well with it because the leaders tend to be downright strange...at least the ones I've dealt with. The last leader I had looked like a drag queen. I waited anxiously for her to mention her husband and children to prove myself wrong. She had on more make-up than the law should allow, and she talked about herself constantly. She looked somewhat like this...

So, here I am struggling with the decision. I have the opportunity to join this Weight Watchers group with people I know. The accountability would be stupendous!

I could conceivably shed more than half the weight I need to lose before the end of the school year.

But something is holding me back from signing up. It seems I'm not as much of a people person as I used to be. The thought of sitting in a meeting bonding over cellulite (or losing it) doesn't appeal to me.

I want to lose this weight so badly...I turn 40 in February, and I'm so afraid it will stick to me like cement if I don't get the weight loss momentum going.

I'm becoming slightly fond of exercising...never thought I'd say that! I rode my new bike twice this week for 11-12 miles each time. But the food...why can't I get a handle on the food?

I could use some advice and encouragement from people who love me no matter what the scale says. How 'bout it?

Here are my numbers: Last week, I was at 228.4 and this week, I'm up exactly one pound to 229.4. At least I didn't hit 230 again. Whew!

Weight Loss Wednesday: First Goal Met!

It took me two months to do it, but I reached my first weight loss goal today! I lost 10 pounds, which has me under 230 pounds! Yay!

It is my heart's desire to never see 230 again. The weight loss is becoming easier now that I've started exercising.

Something came over my husband a few months ago that compelled him to start working out each day at work. The cardiovascular workouts on the elliptical and the treadmill started making a huge difference in his energy level.

Soon, he started going for a short bike ride in the evening as well. He told me that he's getting in shape so he "won't up and die on me." I think he can sense my fear of losing anyone else I love after losing five members of our family in less than two years.


Cliff has been riding his bike at least five nights a week for the past month. On some nights, it's just him, but most nights he has two or three boys with him as well as my BFF Michelle and her daughter, Mariah. I have joined them a time or two, but I have a major fear of open-aired vehicles, especially if I'm behind the wheel.

Probably stems from a tragic mo-ped accident I had as a preteen where I ran off the road into the gravel and took half the skin off my leg.

I have never felt safe and secure on bikes, motorcycles, jetskis, or quads.

My friend Christine has a cabin up in the mountains, and I grip her Harley jacket for dear life when she takes me for rides up and down those pot-holed dirt roads.

I'm a chicken, I know.

Well, I started riding my eldest son Garrett's bike and feel somewhat "ok" on it. That's the one I rode for eight miles last week.

The next time I attempted to ride, I borrowed Michelle's dad Tom's bike with the ultra-wide comfy seat. Well, that bike is completely different from Garrett's. I felt like I was going to fall off, fall forward, and "fall out" from fright. It was awful. I stopped near a canal with rushing waters, and I am ashamed to say I was tempted to jump in to end the bike ride. It was that bad.

Finally, Garrett traded bikes with me because he got tired of being blinded from the glow of my white knuckles gripping those handlebars.

Last night, Garrett wasn't interested in riding, so I went for a short ride with Cliff and our middle son, Logan. I felt much better on Garrett's bike, but Logan freaked me out riding with no hands and swerving all of the place in time with whatever scream-o music he had on his i-pod.

I finally said, "Logan! Just ride the dang bike!!!" His gleeful laughs echoed through the trees. Oh, to be as carefree as my middle child.

Today, my sweetie had a surprise for me! He got me my very own bike! I just got through taking it for a spin, and I love it even better than Garrett's bike! He got me the comfy big booty seat with special booty gripping material on it so I won't slip off. He even bought me a handy dandy water bottle holder and flashing lights for the front and the back!



With my new bike and supportive family and friends ready to exercise along with me, I just know the rest of this weight is going to melt off!

Here are my numbers...

Last week: 230.4

Today: 228.2

Next goal...another ten pounds and goodbye to the 220's!

Belated Weight Loss Wednesday: Every Little Tenth Counts

School is back in session, and some resemblance of a routine is taking shape.

During the past week, I have not been too snappy with my eating, but I did have some exercise milestones that I must share!

Sunday night, I rode my son Garrett's bike for eight miles! Never in my life would I have ever thought I could do such a thing! I know some of you are athletes and think eight miles is the equivalent of leisurely stroll, but it's a flippin' marathon for me!

The first couple miles were the toughest. Once I got through those, I got through the rest pretty easily...except for the moment when a little black sports car whizzed past me with its passengers hooting loudly about my fat booty. A little humbling (and irritating) there, but oh, well. At least I'm doing something about my booty...they don't seem to be doing a thing about their loud mouths! :)

Tuesday night, I had every intention of riding again, but Garrett wanted to ride and I didn't want to get in his way if he was motivated to exercise. So...I got my walking shoes on and walked for 2.5 miles through my neighborhood. I enjoyed huffing and puffing my frustrations out as I trudged along, just the Lord and me. We got a lot of "discussing" done, and it helped me tremendously.

I am very, very close to reaching a weightloss benchmark! This week, my goal is to get below 230 pounds and never go over that point again!

Here are my numbers:

Leebird's weight as of 10/21/09: 230.4

Cheer me on to getting below 230 this week!

The Blessings of Rejection

I should have known my day was going to be "one of those days" when I flipped my scripture calendar to today's date only to find an all-too-familiar verse: Proverbs 3:5-6.



Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall keep your paths straight.



As I read that verse, my sometimes stubborn heart submitted to God's will for my career. You see, our department has been having some difficulties, and I'd really like to be given the chance to help our department get back on the right track.



As I prayed over the situation, the Lord got kind of blunt with me. He's been having to do that a lot lately. I distinctly heard Him confront my spirit with this statement:



Lee, you want to be the hero.



It's the truth. I find great personal satisfaction in saving the day whether it be something small like having an extra Diet Coke in the faculty lounge fridge for a colleague when the soda machine is on the blink or something big like rescuing a floundering department.



I can already hear some of you coming to my defense.



Now, Lee...that just means you have a servant heart! You are too hard on yourself!



That would be great if it were true...but it's not. At least not entirely.



I certainly want to serve others as a way to show God's love through me. Absolutely, I do!



But I also have ulterior motives that reek of pride and self-exaltation.



I want to feel important, ingenious, and indispensable.



I want admiration, appreciation, and affirmation.



When I read Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages, I was not at all surprised that my love language, the way I give and receive love best, is through words of affirmation.



There is nothing wrong with desiring some kind of validation for work well-done or loving acts performed, but I have an unhealthy craving for it.



It spoils my attempts at serving others because I have a constant commentary going on in my head.



Does she appreciate what I did? What does he think of me? What about me! Me! Me! Me!



BLEK!!!!



Of all the things about myself that I'd like to change, this would be it. I'd stay fat forever if I could be rid of this desire for affirmation!



Back to today.



In an afternoon meeting, I learned the administration chose to let someone else lead our department.



A couple hours later, I got a rejection email from one of the publishers that took my book proposal at the She Speaks Conference.

I feel disappointed, and, yes, rejected, but louder than my emotions is God's voice encouraging my spirit.


Trust in Me, LeeBird! Lean not onto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge ME, not your desire for approval, and I will make your paths straight. I love you too much to reinforce your hero complex. Learn to be satisfied with My affirmation, and your life will be full of joy regardless of your circumstances! In ALL your ways acknowledge ME!


I will, Lord, but I can't do it without Your transforming power re-molding my heart!


Bible scholar and pastor, John Piper once said, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."


All for Your glory, Lord. More of You and less of me.

Weight Loss Wednesday...A Few Days Late

My house is no longer quiet, but I'm glad to have my boys back from their week-long visit to their Aunt Karla.

Logan is upstairs saving his farm animals and crops on Farmville, Jacob is talking loudly to his buddy on XBox Live, and Garrett is off to a concert with his friends. Yes, life is back to normal.

My diet, on the other hand, has not been exactly normal. I managed to stay almost the same weight over the last two weeks...only gained eight tenths of a pound during this October break.

I know it will be easier to eat healthy when school starts back for me next week. I'm going to start utilizing the Jerusalem Diet tips I recently learned. The thought of eating more fruits and veggies and drinking more water is starting to seem very appealing for some reason.

I want to be healthy.

My exercise habits are starting to improve. Cliff has me walking and riding bikes. The bike riding scares me to death, but each time I do it, it gets a little easier.

The only bike I've ever had was the little blue Huffy with the training wheels. Growing up, I lived out in the country surrounded by pasture land...not too spiffy for bike riding.

Hopefully, by next Wednesday, I'll have another pound or so off this hefty but healthy body of mine.

See you then,

Peace and Quiet

What's that sound? Oh, I know...it's the gentle sound of my puppy, Riff dreaming of doggie treats.

My house is as quiet as a mountain retreat.

Friday night, or should I say, Saturday morning, Mom and I returned from our trip to Karla's house. We had a marvelous time, and I know Karla enjoyed having us all together.

Within nine hours, I was back to the airport dropping off my three sons, Garrett, Logan, and Jacob.

Karla decided she needed time with "her boys" and was willing to fork out the cash for them to fly in to Dallas. She will spoil them royally all week and send them back to me on Friday.

This, my friends, is why my house is so beautifully quiet.

The TV isn't blaring Nickelodeon or the Disney Channel, the kitchen isn't covered in dishes, and there is no bickering going on whatsoever! It's lovely.

Now, don't get me wrong...I love my boys, and I'm sure I will miss them in a few days, but right now, I'm relishing in the peace and quiet, and I'm not feeling one bit guilty over it!

Months ago, I committed to teaching some staff development classes on Wednesday and Thursday of this week, so my time is not completely my own.

I have big plans for Monday, Tuesday, and Friday though! I'm going to spend time with the Lord and write. I may try to do a little housework here and there, but praying, studying, and writing are my top priorities.

I have so many ideas swirling around in my head, but I haven't had the time to sit down and write them down! I can't wait to give my mind and heart an outlet.

Please pray for me to use this week in a way that will fill my emotional tank up and get me ready to return to work next week. I was beyond exhausted when school let out...I don't want to return in the same state. I want to feel full of energy and purpose so I can make a difference in the mission field God has given me: my school. I want to bubble over with His love so that it splashes out onto my students, my fellow teachers, and any parents with whom I come into contact. I want God's peace in my heart to promote peace at every meeting I attend.

I want to make a difference.

Lord, Thank you for fall break! You know how badly I needed this time off. I pray that this week will rejuvenate my heart and equip me to return to work with a renewed sense of joy and purpose. Order my days so that I can have plenty of time with You and with whatever tasks you'd have me perform. This week is Yours.